The picture on the stairs is priceless. They look like they were good pals. Hope your hearts are healing.
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This puts a terrible lump in my throat, but I can only imagine it's a fraction of what you're agonizing over. I know you've loved AJ and will do so up to the very end I think it is brave of you to be so honest to the forum. I can't add to what others have said… More experienced voices have already voiced what I wish I knew how to say.
Please check in and let us know how you are when you are able.
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I can understand your pain. I cried for weeks after I put down our 11 yr old after many tries at behavior, drugs and other methods failed. My vet was pretty sure it was a brain tumor causing the behavior in my boy as he was throwing himself against the windows and doors trying to attack the other dogs/birds/humans who were either outside or inside, and he had never in his life acted like that previously.
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As I mentioned above, I've seen my mum go through the same thing, so I feel your pain. Hope you're ok.
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Maybe in dog heaven he will be able to be at peace (mentally and emotionally) and finally be happy around all the other doggies up there.. You are very brave my thoughts are with you
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My heart is absolutely broken over this. It's not a decision I've rushed into. At the point it reached,I had no choice in the matter. He turned on someone who he's been living with between short stints on the truck with me.
I believe dogs can develop a canine version of Alzheimer's and that this is what happened with him.
He progressively became more demonstrative over the past six or so months and exhibited impulse control problems. He began vomiting a lot, so I had him checked. There was nothing physically wrong with him. He just didn't feel good, he didn't know why and it made him grumpy.
When he lashed out with the severity he did, I realized there is nothing more that could be done. He was 10 years old, with a history of having been abused. He was reverting to that mentality.
Attitudes like "all he needs is love and work" are what cause children to be hospitalized with severe facial lacerations. There is NO WAY I'm going to have something like that on my conscience out of my selfishness of not wanting to say goodbye to a good friend. It would be irresponsible on my part to insist on hanging on, ignoring all of the signs that it's time to let go.
He is out of pain and no longer a threat to animals or people.
I 100% believe I made the right decision, despite the fact that it feels like my heart has been gouged out with a dull spoon.
Thank you to those who understand. Ms. Pat, I have always had great respect for you and your opinion, even if I didn't always agree.
I will not be getting another dog.
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I absolutely believe this is not how AJ wanted to live. And yes, dogs can get/develop all sorts of things that cause behavioral problems. Perhaps a doggy Alzheimers perhaps a brain tumor, perhaps something else, either way, I think you did AJ a great kindness. I hope some day you will reconsider having another dog, but that is for another day i think.
(aside: I also have a very similiar story to Anubis'. Parent's jack russel, a rescue with little early socialization/training/etc. Bit my mom after years of owning the dog. he did have resource issues, etc. they ended up putting him to sleep. sometimes doing the reponsible thing just plain sucks.)
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@AJs:
I 100% believe I made the right decision, despite the fact that it feels like my heart has been gouged out with a dull spoon.
Very sorry to hear about what had happened with him. However, it sounds like this was the best thing to do, and it always helps to have certainty behind your own decision made.
I can see both viewpoints on this decision. At the end of the day, you're the one responsible for AJ, and you know him best. Given what you described as the severity of the bite, I can only imagine the worry going forward if you were to roll the dice and simply hope for the best.
I'm sure he's grateful for the life you gave him. It doesn't matter if it's 2 years or 12 years, quality > quantity. He got an adventure with the travels and now he can be at peace.
Perhaps time will heal and you will change your mind on getting another dog. For now, just remember the good times, I'm sure there were plenty.
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I'll spread his ashes over the open road. It's where he was happiest.
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Thanks for posting the full picture - makes a lot of difference.
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I'm so sorry for your loss and the decision you had to make. It's never easy, and at best, very heartbreaking when you know that nothing else can be done. You've done the right thing. You will always wonder 'what if?' but don't let your pain cloud the decision that you made. Think of the other way-what if you had continued on the way he was? Would it have made him any happier? Sometimes we have to do what is best for the whole instead of the individual and I believe that he couldn't have been very happy either. Again, I'm so, so sorry.
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I also hope you one day reconsider another dog. You are a wonderful owner who could give so much to the next one, too. I will mourn your loss and pain, but celebrate the love and relationship you gave to AJ and him to you.
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Just have to pass on my condolences and can understand your decision. as hard as it was. Thanks for sharing, the pics and the stories! He's ok now on that journey over the bridge!
