What am I doing wrong???

Someone please tell me….what am I doing wrong?

I love this forum, its a great resource and a chance to connect with people who "get the breed" and for me it is a source of relaxation... with that being said, I have researched the breed, talked with breeders and visited a breeder, upon the advice of a basenji expert reviewed the entire BCOA website and completed the workbooks, picked a vet that has plenty of basenji experience, am very excited and anxious to get my puppy- yet I post on this forum to show my excitement and it gets me into trouble!!!!! I am not a child and I hate someone making me feel like I did something wrong when I don't see that I did~For those of you who don't know why I am writing this- I posted a thread and someone from this forum decided to go ahead and get me in trouble with my contact for the breed- so tell me please if anything I said is arrogant, disrespectful or otherwise. I hate the thought that I cant post on this forum without wondering if what I am saying will be privately emailed from person to person..I get people are connected outside of this forum but don't go behind my back to do this- especially if you think I said something bad, just tell me! I consider myself to be an educated and responsible basenji owner to be and I don't like someone making me out to be a bad person or even worse, having bad intentions with my puppy

End of rant

Thanks😕

WOW, okay are you sure the breeder didn't read it personally? If not, whoever sent your posts .. just wow. Sorry but most of us are not like that. Or I hope not!

Edited: I went to your profile and read every single post you have made. Nothing any breeder should be more than happy to read…. enthusiasm, openness. I would ask the breeder what was said and frankly copy every post or invite the breeder to read them personally. I see nothing you posted that would get you in any trouble.

Thanks DebraDownSouth- it was passed on, however I sent the diret link so they could see exactly what I wrote bc I am more frustrated that I was said to be questioning practices- I have nothing but respect for my breeder and I don't think what I wrote was bad at all- in fact, I have only good things to say. I guess I am just hurt because I feel like I am being put in jeopardy of not getting a puppy because I am thought of as shady or something- Ive waited three years for this moment and I don't want a bad relationship w. my contact- I want to feel comfortable around them, if I have questions or such…and I am just down about the whole thing 😞

Hi Chealsie508 - I personally see nothing wrong with anything you have posted. There are "beginner" basenji folks on here (I consider myself one) and the "advanced" basenji owners. As a beginner, I appreciate all of the information that comes my way from the more advanced owners on here. But whatever I read I try to put into context with what is happening in my situation. My puppy is not being released to me until 12 weeks. Lots of people will say that is waaay too long, but it is what my breeder does - what they are comfortable with. Who am I to challenge it, especially if it gives me the best puppy available. I've seen my little guy, but it was a 5.5 hour drive, so it is not easy for me to see him.

If you live close, and if the breeder feels it is fine, sure you could visit them more often. But that is entirely up to you and the breeder. Every breeder has a program that I think they like to stick to. They may have given you a subtle indication that one or two visits are acceptable per week, even though you live close by. If you feel comfortable with asking them, certainly ask if you can visit more frequently, but do not feel put down if you don't do that.

And sometimes the written word on here can come across so differently than the spoken word. With the spoken word, you get eye contact and body language, which usually makes it easier to gauge what someone is saying and thinking.

Please don't leave the forum. Having everyone's input is what makes this forum a great community.

Houston

I read the post too and I don't see what the big fuss "might" be about. Are you sure it is something you wrote? I just don't see what that could be. Your post is anything but bad, it was very happy, excited and good in my opinion. Don't leave, there is so much to learn, laugh and share on here.
Trust me, when I first got on here about 2 years ago, I had many "enemies", but I now treasure them as friends, they helped me open my eyes and learn so much more then I would've if I had left like I thought of and wanted to…just saying..

Thanks Kipawa- especially knowing I am getting a great, healthy puppy! Just so people know my frame of mind- never was I questioning anyone on what they choose to do as a responsible breeder…it was just construed to them wrong and I hate the tension, and I hate being labeled as the "one questioning the experts" because I am soooooooo a novice.

Just clarifying: It was 100% what I wrote...it sounded like- whatever you say I will know you said it, kind of thing. I want to say again, I have nothing bad to say regarding this person and I wish they could see that I am trying to be responsible and do things right and not think "this person is not a person I want to have one of my dogs". Even more I wish people would stop looking at what I write thinking I mean it in a bad way- I am not the type of person to go bad mouthing others. I am a novice, I don't participate in all of the hubabaloo going around within the breed, this process has taught me that basenji's are a cut throat topic between people that have been in the breed for years, I don't want to be a part of that negativity so please stop creating something out of nothing.
I am not leaving the forum for sure... I am silly, but I love seeing certain people's names on here- it's like a goldmine for knowledge and you get a real sense of what it is to be involved in this breed- not just owning one, but to be an ambassador for protecting them and securing them a healthy reputation, leaving would be doing myself a disservice and my puppy.

I think that you were very respectful of your breeder in your postings. If anyone was questioning, it was some of us who voiced how we do things a bit differently. Which is just sharing how we each do things and why we choose to do things the way we do.

Chealsie508, I would really hope that your relationship with the breeder is not tense. Getting a puppy from a responsible breeder is like marrying into a new family and you are married to that family for the life of your puppy. I always tell perspective puppy people to go and visit with other breeders because you really want to be sure that my dogs are what you want and that I am what you want because I will be emailing and asking after my pups long after they have gone to their homes. I just sent birthday cards on Tuesday to the owners of Heart, Cole, Ramses, Ringo, and Zeke who all celebrated their birthday on December 7th. I am keeping a blog and sending emails to all the perspective puppy for this year's litter as we move through the process. I want puppy people who are going to feel comfortable calling me out of the blue to ask "What do you do when your 6 month old puppy eats a gopher?" or "We embarassed to go the dog park because our dog pees on the people who stand around like trees drinking coffee, HELP!"

If you are feeling tense and uncomfortable then you need to talk to the breeder and clear the air.

I think its a breeders right to choose to make decisions as a responsible breeder can justify their reasoning and as potential adopters it is our job to get to know breeders and make sure that when you pick one- you agree or can live with those policies- I made my decision and am quite happy about it…not saying it wouldn't be nice to get extra visiting time but really, its not a deal breaker for me- knowing my puppy is coming from a great breed line, completely health tested and are well beyond qualified in raising puppies- is all that I can ask for and I am happy as pie about it- I just hope they still want to work with me

Your right Ivoss- I do need to clear the air, I can't feel comfortable if I feel they don't like me- that will only make me not want to bring up issues if I have them, and I am SURE I will.lol
Thanks

I have no idea what all the hullaballoo is about. I skimmed most of your posts and while it's possible i missed something, your posts seemed respectful and looked like an new basenji-owner-to-be looking for as much info from as many experienced basenji people as possible.

I think you ought to ask your breeder as many questions as it takes for you to feel comfortable about getting a dog from them. That goes both ways actually. Maybe if you were breeding, you'd do things a little differently, but that's okay. Ultimately the breeder has the last say on how the puppies/dogs in his/her care are handled. If she does not feel comfortable exposing them to different people until 6 weeks, that's her call. I know some breeders that do just that, others will do differently. And if you're okay with her reasoning, all would seem okay. Perhaps other breeders are giving her some grief about not socializing earlier? If that's the case, I don't really see how that would reflect on you being a good basenji owner.

I hope things are smoothed over quickly. Your pup's breeder is like a new family member. Perhaps your correspondencs with the breeder seemed tense because of something unrelated going on? I know that's often the case when talking via email.

Well, that's my two pennies worth.

Agilebasenji- Truthfully, until you mentioned it I didn't even think of that- it could be, I know the whelping season can be draining, I hope you are right but I still feel uncomfortable not knowing the honest opinion- We have been able to talk in the past so I am sure we will again- I'll give them some space though just in case you are right and there is something going on. Thanks for the input

You could also be right that they may have gotten some grief about it and she considers me to be at fault for having even mentioned it..i hope not though because I didn't post for that reason or to question- I just wanted to brag I was getting a puppy- lol. Everyone is different in what they choose to do but I know the reasons behind what they do makes sense and thats good enough for me.

I also don't think you were disrespectful. Some breeders like to have people in their house right away, some don't. It's a personal choice. I will probably have people in my house when the puppies are between 3/4 weeks old. Maybe as someone said, they are just stressed and busy and have taken it the wrong way.

Chealsie508 - go talk to your breeder and explain you have nothing but respect for her and whoever sent her messages about you didn't know what they were talking about and ask to start over. You are excited to adopt one of her pups and want to work with her and follow her advice on the pup's care and training.
Now take a deep breath.

I agree with what everyone else has posted. Don't know who here (but then there are many "lurkers") would send you breeder something from here and try and make like you were not a good puppy home or that you were questioning your breeders practices. How sad that someone felt the need to do that. And to add, never did your posts sound to me like you were questioning the breeder, you were just stating the facts and what your breeder does.

All of our comments regarding the "visiting" pups were strickly meant as our preference… and in my post I even stated that, that every breeder has their own ideas and ways of doing things. Doesn't mean my practices are any better or worse then any other breeder.

I hope that you can iron out any problems this person caused, I would believe you will....

Chealsie508,
I read that thread and you were very respectable to your breeder. I cannot figure out how anyone could misconstrue anything you said to be otherwise?

Thanks everyone for the support- unfortunately, today I have been stewing about this all day. This is supposed to be the most exciting time for me and yet I have to deal with the aftermath of this with. I guess that is really bothering me because this is the second time now an outside person has claimed something about me– It's like "who out there is trying to sabotage me," I do not participate in breed activities or such so who could know me and not like me enough to create havoc between me and another person?? I am frustrated and annoyed- I am a good person and its disappointing this is happening and no matter which way I try to explain it, I have two strikes against me.

Well, I'm not a breeder, but colour and sex were a part of my wants. IMO, I suppose some breeders might feel that a buyer looking for a particular colour/sex gives away some opportunity for them to try to match a particular dog to someone, especially if they see showing plans for particular dogs.

When you meet with the breeder, try to have calm vibes all around you. Let the breeder tell you about the litter, and the dogs individually. Maybe you could bring a list of questions with you, but I would definitely leave that towards the end of the visit.

Now STOP beating yourself up 🙂 🙂 because if you are down or anxious when you visit, puppies and the humans will pick up on it. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. And if it doesn't work out, look at it as if there just wasn't the right dog there for you. Then start looking again.

@Chealsie508:

Thanks everyone for the support- unfortunately, today I have been stewing about this all day. This is supposed to be the most exciting time for me and yet I have to deal with the aftermath of this with my breeder. I guess that is really bothering me because this is the second time now I have been questioned and I feel like its strike 2- both times an outside person construed something to my contact that then fell back on me. First time it was that I was only thinking about superficial aspects such as color and markings; because I contacted another breeder to inquire about their breeding plans ( just curious, didn't go behind anyones back to get a puppy from someone different) and that blew up in my face as I was trying to see whose puppies were better looking to decide!!! I am frustrated and annoyed- I am a good person and its disappointing this is happening

Oh, and I forgot to say a lovely looking dog is great, but it needs to combined with the best temperament and health as possible.

@Chealsie508:

Thanks everyone for the support- unfortunately, today I have been stewing about this all day. This is supposed to be the most exciting time for me and yet I have to deal with the aftermath of this with my breeder. I guess that is really bothering me because this is the second time now I have been questioned and I feel like its strike 2- both times an outside person construed something to my contact that then fell back on me. First time it was that I was only thinking about superficial aspects such as color and markings; because I contacted another breeder to inquire about their breeding plans ( just curious, didn't go behind anyones back to get a puppy from someone different) and that blew up in my face as I was trying to see whose puppies were better looking to decide!!! I am frustrated and annoyed- I am a good person and its disappointing this is happening

I find nothing wrong with contacting other breeders to find out their breeding plans… In fact, I encourage anyone talking to me about a puppy to do so.

Kipawa- I have said in the past that I wanted a red and white- I just love that you can see their facial expressions more clearly than the other colors- however after three years of waiting I don't care of the color or sex- I just want a puppy that is medium in its energy level- I don't want the pushiest, boldest puppy nor the shyest type. I want a love bug/ velcro dog if I can and one that has a disposition better to being around young children as I have a one year old nephew…other than happy and healthy I can't ask for anything more

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