Debra, I'm never sure what to say in circumstances such as these. I can only wish you many more happy and pain free days together. That includes freedom from your personal heart/love pain you are experiencing on a daily basis knowing the decision you may have to make in your near future.
I don't know you, but I think of you and Sayblee on a daily basis. You've had a lot thrown at you in a short period of time. Seems like one personal loss after another in the last year or so.
Bless you and your temerity, and damn those that choose to judge when not in your shoes.
Thank you for putting yourself out there. I (we) will help by listening and sharing kind thoughts. If you need more, please post. I think that is part of the reason the admin. started this forum to begin with. Sharing–-the good, the bad & the ugly