Generally, just ask for a show of hands, I'm the one usually accused of harsh responses. It's a bit amusing to see them. Yes, some were harsh, but in an "our job is to make sure the puppy is taken care of, not try to tell you that you are perfectly logical and right in what you are doing." If you try to remember that this forum is dedicated to the dogs, you'll (Edit, no idea how I erased it before) take it less personally.
Anyone extrapolating that your distress means you don't/won't love the puppy is out of line... as is the foul-mouthed response to her. You have a new puppy and your expectations need adjusting.
Something that concerns me is that both you and Samm got puppies that are pretty... emotional. That trip from France to Beirut, all the changes.. that could explain everything. But you both need to be talking to the breeder about temperament and quirks of their line. Someone suggested... and it seems to have gotten lost ... is to make SURE the sudden pee/poop isn't medical.
You are moving too fast and the result is flipping her out and then you're reacting to that. It's normal. But understand that the concern is that if you think things are out of control now, stay on the path you are on. Start over. Reevaluate her needs because if she's happy, you'll be happy. There is no getting around the suggestions of everyone that she needs to be with you. If you had a big pack, it might be easier to get them all to sleep elsewhere... but right now, it really is cruel.
The crate issue needs to be fixed as soon as things settle. At some point, she could need crating and you don't want both the stress of an emergency and not used to a crate at the same time.
Btw, I'm in Haifa, Israel. If you both aren't familiar with parkwork, please call your vets quickly. In the US we have heartworms. Here it's parkworm. Feel free to message me if you need any info on it.
It sounds trite, but honestly, things get better. Look at her as a baby and one you have time to work on shaping her.
Mary's lessons are very easy to follow. She's also very calm and approachable so if you have questions, I'll give you her email.