@ZolasMommy:
Thanks for all of the feedback. At this point we are willing to try ANYTHING that we can afford… except drugs. I really don't want to resort to having to drug our dog, but her separation anxiety is insane.
It's such a tough call, isn't it? One thing to consider, just from the other side of the decision process, is to look at a medication that is specifically short term but intended to give you and she the time and head space to do the separation training. I am a human who has benefited from temporary anxiety medicine once (xanax), and it really did what I needed it to: it gave me the emotional ability to regroup, figure out the thing that was scaring me, and work through it. I was only on it for about 10 days. I'm not saying such a thing is the right path for you and your family, just that there other solutions between "no meds ever" and "meds for the rest of her life" Indeed, in the case of separation anxiety, from what I understand, the medicines are only while the protocol is being taught. Something to consider.
Anyway, my Simon has some anxiety issues that are a little longer term, and we decided after a lot of research to try L-theanine. It's herbal, over the counter, and I first saw it on the shy-k9 yahoo group. It is not a miracle fix, but it does what I am looking for: gives him the ability to engage in the training process instead of turning into terrified coyote boy. When they are that afraid, they cannot learn. (Neither can humans.)
Meanwhile, I hope the DAP and thunder shirt do give some relief! Best of luck.