Long talk with Dr. Gonto

[nobarkus]

@Chealsie508:

I guess people have had better luck than me in regards to their experiences. Debra, you are right that many breeds are far worse in regards to the nastiness and it is in every community. I would just like to see it die down. To be fair I haven't been to many events so you all could be right that there is less drama there… I just know what I have seen, been dragged into and gone through, much of which was uncalled for. Let me just say, that since I have had Oakley there have been a couple times I needed advice or sought answers to questions and rather than be met with kindess I was met with harsh, unnecessary words, and for that things have been tainted ever since

Help me understand this. You say "Debra, you are right that many breeds are far worse in regards to the nastiness and it is in every community. I would just like to see it die down".This sounds like a generalized negative statement if you haven't been to many events. I've been to and participated in lure coursing events and people were friendly and pretty nice. What have you been dragged into and gone through?

[Nemo]

@Chealsie508:

Agilebasenji, I appreciate the insight as I know you are far more experienced in the arena of events such as agility and coursing. It had made me consider about attending another lure coursing event when one comes up in the new England area. I suppose giving it another chance won't hurt. On a side note, I have been following zests thread and I do hope he is recovering quickly!

Chealsie,

I'd encourage you to give it another try, and I definitely understand your perspective being relatively new to local and national basenji breed organizations. If there are any local basenji club meet-ups perhaps on a more social level, I'd say try to go to those. Usually in those cases those people actually want to be around each other so it's a better situation for getting to know people. Plus you can build off those relationships to make the other events more fulfilling. I've found a lot of people to be just plain blunt, they really aren't necessarily trying to be mean and often times they're trying to be helpful. It is just a communication style I've had to get more used to since entering the dog world and I oftentimes have to take a step back to think about what they probably meant versus having a knee-jerk reaction.

I think developing a rapport with people in many of the online lists in the larger fancy community is challenging. It's a large dysfunctional family, it pulls together when it needs to but most of the time there is lots of disagreement and bickering that cycles from time-to-time. I hear, like you've said it's better than other breeds, but I have no point of reference.

To build off your previous comments, I'd say some people are very "passionate" regarding their viewpoints. So much so they spend so much time justifying and defending their positions to others in "discussions" but spend very little time engaging and trying to understand the perspectives of others. It becomes toxic and self-defeating and non-constructive. And that is what really turns me off from getting much more involved than I am currently. I haven't had many issues at actual events so I feel pretty comfortable attending those and have been lucky enough to meet some very nice people. So, try to find those more real-life versus virtual connections and hopefully you'll have better luck at finding more basenji-related activities that you enjoy.

[Chealsie508]

It isnt generalized because it is from my own experiences with people in the breed, not how it is for everyone.Not the events but individual people trying to make me look bad or as though I am not doing the best for my dog. You don't have to be involved in the vents to see the nastiness of people. Without going into detail as I care not to bash anyone directly but I have reached out for advice only to have my hand slapped. That is a mistake I will not make again. It has nothing to do with this forum or at an event- which is the extent I will go to in talking about it. It is not misleading to say that other breeds have more cattiness as a basenji is not my first breed. And I stated fully that my rant was not directly based on my experiences of events such as conformation, coursing, agility. But what I do know is there are people I rather not run into at these events

[Chealsie508]

Nemo, I appreciate that you can respect my opinions and you are 100% right that people are blunt which comes off as mean and harsh. I find that those people need to tone it down. For instance, if I ask for advice on how to handle a situation I do not want to be met with a demeaning tone and such. This is the basis for my rant- not to bash everyone but to say that I haven't had the most pleasant experiences thus far and I think some get too caught up in themselves to extend themselves graciously toward willing and new owners

[Kipawa]

@Chealsie508:

But what I do know is there are people I rather not run into at these events

That's life in a nutshell, because I can tell you there are people in a number of places that I'd rather not run into. If I do, I offer a pleasant 'hello', but do not waste my energy. There are so many people, dogs, organizations that can better receive my energy and efforts.

[Terry]

Chealsie, I'm so sorry you had such negative experiences with Basenji people. When we first started, we really felt 'on the outside,' and thought that people weren't very friendly to newcomers. Fortunately, we met several people through the breeder of our boy who were friendly and helpful. And we have since made a particular effort to be welcoming to new people (pay it forward!). We've made some excellent and cherished friends through dog events - yes, there are some people we prefer not to interact with unless we have no choice, but as Fran said, just say hello and move on. And come to Texas! We promise to be non-judgemental and friendly!

Terry

[nobarkus]

@Chealsie508:

Nemo, I appreciate that you can respect my opinions and you are 100% right that people are blunt which comes off as mean and harsh. I find that those people need to tone it down. For instance, if I ask for advice on how to handle a situation I do not want to be met with a demeaning tone and such. This is the basis for my rant- not to bash everyone but to say that I haven't had the most pleasant experiences thus far and I think some get too caught up in themselves to extend themselves graciously toward willing and new owners

Maybe they were having a bad day and things weren't going right. Some take the events way too serious.

[agilebasenji]

I think part of the thing with agility is that, if you're training at a class, by the time you're competing (certainly by the time you're ready to compete with a basenji) you already know some people. And you know if you like them or if you should avoid them.

[MacPack]

Many years ago when I was relatively new to basenjis, I wanted to join the BCOA, knowing I was planning to be very involved in the breed. (Other interests we had, we always joined a local or national club for information and education, seemed logical to join my breed club) At a dog show I met a St.Pete breeder, now in Ocala, and she asked why I wanted to join, as I was not a breeder. She indicated that it was a small, closed group for "serious" basenji people only. I ran into her at another show a few years later and asked again about joining and found out you have to have 2 'sponsors' to join, so how would anyone ever get in unless you were already part of "the club"? That was way pre-internet. She did have a form and signed it, and took me to another breeder and vouched for me and he signed as well. So with all plans to join, I carefully put the form away so it wouldn't get lost, then couldn't remember where I put it! So I never joined, and was way too embarrassed to ask again for anyone to 'vouch' for me. I still go to at least one show a year and have found that most of the people are very kind, I have held dogs waiting to be shown, handed off to me by total strangers. I have also seen crabby, snooty people, but by far most are welcoming if you talk to them after the show, or well before. They get pretty focused right before ring time!

I like to think that our feisty members are just very passionate about the breed and their beliefs/knowledge. Some obviously know each other personally (for better or for worse) and some have a harsher tone than others, again, I like to think it is about passion rather than 'distemper'. Chealsie, I'm sorry you have had bad experiences. Many of the breeders I ran into 30 years ago were like that, but time seems to have not only helped with basenji disposition, but their breeders' as well!

[tlish]

@MacPack:

Many of the breeders I ran into 30 years ago were like that, but time seems to have not only helped with basenji disposition, but their breeders' as well!

that made me laugh!

[dcmclcm4]

Anne,

How do these breeders know that sometime in the future you might want to own a show dog? A club has to have new members or it will decline in membership over time. If I was a breeder and club member I would want people joining who are serious about the breed.

I think it is important for a newbie to the breed to attend shows and events as it is a good way to gain knowledge about Bs especially when it comes to type and movement.

Jennifer

[MacPack]

I thought the same thing back then, Jennifer, and was surprised that membership in BCOA was so difficult. And I did consider showing. The only puppy we ever bought, from south Florida, I planned to show but when told I had to cut off her long gorgeous whiskers, I decided her show career was ending before beginning, haha!
Might take a stab at again some day, just for fun, when I retire. Thinking about a black boy pup next year…....

[Therese Leimback]

Don't take my word for it; for those BCOA members - feel free to ask to join the group and see for yourself how hard folks have been working:

http://pets.groups.yahoo.com/group/bcoahealth/

Linda, I took your advice and used this link to join the group. I have had my request answered. Since you invited us to join can you arrange to accept my request to join the group?
Thanks
Therese

[sinbaje]

@Therese:

Linda, I took your advice and used this link to join the group. I have had my request answered. Since you invited us to join can you arrange to accept my request to join the group?
Thanks Therese

I assume you mean you have NOT had your request answered??

I am just an auditor to the group though I do post and voice my unofficial opines on occasion since I am not on the committee.

I will send an email to the co-chairs/moderators and tell them there is a request from you. It is always possible they have not seen it as these is a ton of mail these days.

If I hear back I will let you know via email - assuming you do not get a reply for your request from them.

Hope that is sufficient.

[Therese Leimback]

Thanks Linda, I got your message at home as well.
Therese