• First Basenji's

    Folks, I Just need to rant a little…

    Our old neighbor lost his house due to foreclosure about a year after we got our house. He took his time leaving, and it looked like he was even considering abandoning his Rottweiler before he finally came and got him a day after "officially" moving out.

    A couple months ago, literally the very day that Bowpi arrived, he swung by and knocked on our door to ask a favor. He had some emergency family, health, and home problems, and needed a place to stow two of his trucks for "about a month." We have a very long driveway and only one car. So he asked if he could park his cars in our driveway while he dealt with his family issues back East. We've always been on good terms so we agreed.

    Now, well over a month later, he's back and has yet to pick up his cars for one reason or another. He just called me up to tell me he's going to come by tomorrow. While we were on the phone, he offered me a puppy. A Yorkie mix puppy. Apparently he "downsized" from his Rottweiler (who knows what happened to that dog??) and got his daughter a "pedigreed" Yorkie who had an accidental litter and now he has four mutts that he's trying to sell. He offered one to me because he knows I love dogs and we seem to be doing so much better financially...

    I'm just frustrated and even a little angry. I do and have participated with animal rescue groups because I know there is always so much more to be done. But what I can do is very limited because I've always had a hard time dealing with people like this -- even less so when they're people I know. I witnessed for myself how this guy was indeed facing terrible life problems, losing his home and even his vision while dealing with divorce and death in the family and raising multiple kids as a single father. I mean, when it rains, it pours, right? But what was he thinking getting a dog in the midst of all this personal upheaval (he said the dog was for his young daughter), and then NOT spending the $50 it would take to get her spayed at a low-cost clinic?? And who am I to criticize his actions and tell him what to do, though I'd really like to say something when he (supposedly) comes to get his cars tomorrow...

    I'm just afraid he's really going to bring me a puppy as a "thank you present" even though I told him over and over, we don't want puppies and two dogs are enough for us!

  • That is a tough one. I would look up some if you have some cheap spay clinics in your area, and hand this fellow a flyer.

  • I'd say, if the puppy is free, take the puppy and hand it over to a rescue where they do a good job screening homes. Maybe offer to pay for the spay of their current dog if you have the funds. Otherwise, I'm not sure what you can do.

  • Y'all are a lot nicer than I would be in the same situation.

    I'd be saying, "Get your $%#@ cars out of my driveway before I have them towed, stop breeding…that goes for the dog and you…and leave me alone."

    But I'm just a grump that way.

  • First Basenji's

    Sharron, after lunch, that's exactly what I did. Our local humane society unfortunately just suffered a fire to the facilities, so they were closed. I went to the city animal control shelter instead and picked up what information I could. They actually did not have very much literature for me. The woman I talked to said that if I could convince him to go down there, they could give him the verbal schpiel themselves. Otherwise, they usually just wait until unfixed dogs get impounded, and then they hold the dogs "hostage" and only return them to their owner once they're fixed – or else they're surrendered.

    That's the short version I got, anyway. I do not envy these women their job. Public education was never one of my strong suits as I would get too emotional and too worked up when I had to argue the merits of spaying and neutering and rescue work with people who just didn't get it.

    So if he comes tomorrow (and there's always the chance that he'll bail out), I think I'll try to guide him towards using any of the money that he stands to get from the pups to spay the mom. It could just be that he doesn't know where to go. But he does think he stands to gain some money off the pups, which is part of what made me so angry earlier. He sincerely thinks he's offering me a good present because his Yorkie has a "pedigree" (I assume he just means she's got AKC papers or something -- I didn't catch what the dad is, but not a Yorkie), and he hopes to get a couple hundred bucks from the rest of the litter. I do think he's in a position where that money would make a difference. I couldn't just accept his puppy "gift" and then hand it right over to a shelter. I would much rather he made the decision himself. And it has to come from him to get the low-cost voucher. Who knows? Maybe he'll be happy not to have to deal with this on top of everything else. I have a couple local rescues in mind that could take his puppies AND help him get his dog spayed -- I'd drive his dog to and from the appointment myself if he was willing to make it.

    AJ's Human... You might be a "grump" but maybe a lot more would get done in this world if people were more direct, heh.

    Thanks for reading.

  • any updates?

  • Sounds like he kind of knows how to take advantage of people. That can be a skill that needy people figure out - it's a part of survival for them.

    If he comes with the dog, tell him it is a lovely dog and that you hope/are sure he can find a home for it because you have your capacity of dogs in the home right now. Then perhaps turn the tables a little and ask him if he would want you to just sell the cars as scrap metal. Perhaps that will light a small match stick under him.

  • First Basenji's

    Nothing to report… he didn't show up on time, and I had to leave the house. My boyfriend was home and met him when he did come, a couple hours later. He had his two youngest kids with him, and they were on their way somewhere else, so he couldn't take his cars at the time but he's supposed to come back tomorrow morning. And instead of bringing us a puppy, he brought a pie...

    I wouldn't really characterize him as manipulative, but he does know I'm a softie. It is hard for me to say no unless I have good reason -- especially when I'm caught off guard, which is what happened when he first requested to bring his trucks over. I'm the type that has to steel myself before potentially awkward moments, but then I'll stick to my guns if I've made a firm decision beforehand. Like if he DOES try to push the puppy issue again, I won't have a problem refusing. But I think he got the message.

    Don't get me wrong, the guy has his merits too. He clearly loves his children, and does everything he can to make them happy. The question of what he's teaching his children about the disposability of pets is separate from how he raises his family. I plan on bringing up the puppies as casually as I can, something like, "Hey, I was at the pet store the other day [not really] and I got some info on cheap spaying clinics that I thought you might be interested in. Did you know [our city] gives huge discounts on spaying your pet? And then you don't have to go through the hassle of raising anymore puppies and finding homes for them… Or if you'd like some help adopting out the puppies, you can contact these folks." And I'll hand him a list of local rescues who will surely reiterate the spay and neuter schpiel IF he gets in touch. Etc. etc.

    He was actually trying to sell at least one of his cars before his family emergency came up. So he really does have a lot on his plate. The least I can do is offer to drive his pets to a spay appointment and whatnot... hell, I'm volunteering to do the same for local rescues. But the first move really does have to come from him, and I hope putting all the information in his hands will just make it easier.

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