Separation Anxiety?
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I leave Tucker at home pretty much all day…alone. He doesn't complain or lash out in any way. Perfect little roommate. It's taken a while to get there, but apparently Tucker and I have done our bonding. He has the run of my condo, and I do have some nice things. He seems to totally respect 'our' stuff and has never chewed or torn up anything after the initial phase post adoption. He doesn't even whine when I leave, although I typically give him a loaded Kong and 'disappear' while he's engaged with it...
However, when I leave him with friends...friends he knows well, he's restless...whines and is just a downright pain in the ass for them. And he's left for the same hours, same times, given the same toys...etc. I left him just yesterday with a close friend who works from home. The maid came (and she's scared 5h!+l355 of Tucker) and I don't need a lawsuit because Tucker gets pissed at the vacuum and takes her arm off, so I take him away for the day and eliminate the possibility. She tells me (this is the second time she's done this for me) that he's restless, whines the entire time, and has to ram his face in the window whever anyone walks buy, closes a door, honks a horn, etc. He's left with all of his toys, knog, chews, etc. Nothing seems to calm him down until I return. He drove her insane yesterday and she could hardly work.
I'm just wondering everyone's thoughts on this. Seems like, as long as he's home (even alone) or I am present (and we're away from home), he's fine. Any other situation causes him problems with separation.
Tucker was fostered 4 times before I got him. 3 times in his first 6 months and then remained with one for 3 years, then I 'saved' him. Do you guys/gals think he associates being left with a friend as being abandoned yet again? I've never forgotten Tucker and left him alone beyond our regular hours (the one's he's accustomed to). I wonder why he would think that just because I leave him with a friend, that I'm not coming back?
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Tucker was fostered 4 times before I got him. 3 times in his first 6 months and then remained with one for 3 years, then I 'saved' him. Do you guys/gals think he associates being left with a friend as being abandoned yet again? I've never forgotten Tucker and left him alone beyond our regular hours (the one's he's accustomed to). I wonder why he would think that just because I leave him with a friend, that I'm not coming back?
IMO and I'm no expert :D but it seems like any other living animal Tucker must have some lasting effects of his past. I would think it would be similar with a human child who's had to be fostered & rehomed several times inevitably have flashbacks & set backs when similar situations ocurr.
It may be that it will take Tucker some time to make up for a rocky past. I wouldn't put him through the unnecessary stress.
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The only thing I have to add is that Nala seems to "count" everyone when they come in. If one person is missing (especially DH), she can't settle down.
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I wouldn't put him through the unnecessary stress.
Unfortunately, the alternative would be to leave him at home and chance the maid getting bitten because I simply cannot be there at that time. And Tucker DOES bite strangers if not properly managed and the maid doesn't even speak english. She uses an online translator to schedule appointments.
My walker is reliable in that she shows up, but timing it perfectly with the maid isn't possible - at least not possible enough that I would take the chance. Besides, I pay the walker for 30 minutes and she would pull my pants down over a couple hours. She IS a business woman, you know… :D
I was thinking I was giving him the best option... Leaving him with a close friend, who Tucker knows and likes, who has a dog that Tucker knows and tolerates and who is there the whole time to supervise him - and she's reliable.
The only thing I have to add is that Nala seems to "count" everyone when they come in. If one person is missing (especially DH), she can't settle down.
I'm the only one home most of the time since my roommate travels 2 weeks/month. Therefore, the numbers are the same aside from the extra dog.
I think we just have a bond that upsets him when it's broken. Could just be that simple. I guess when he's at 'home', he feels more comfortable because I always come back THERE. Maybe just the whole feeling of being 'misplaced' is what it's about. Stranger is a strange land… But, he's also been there before...several times. As long as I'm there, he's good to go but he DOES scratch to go out a lot more. Guess he's like me. There's NO place like home. :)
He's going to go insane when I put him in the kennel for a week when I leave for Europe next weekend... BUT, I talked my girlfriend into kenneling her dog at the same place so they can have playtime together - at least a bit of the familiar. I really don't have any alternative and he's stayed there before - just not that long. I imagine he'll be happy to see me at the weeks end. :rolleyes:
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I'm the only one home most of the time since my roommate travels 2 weeks/month. Therefore, the numbers are the same aside from the extra dog.
Um, I wasn't being literal about the counting. I guess I should have said that Nala knows when a member of her family is missing (in your case, Tucker and you are his family). I think you are correct about the bond between you and him. Maybe over time, he'll settle down at your friend's house.
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Max was like that. Even if I was with him at a friend's house–if I went outside, or if we were in the backyard and I went inside without him--he would frantically try to find me and would not settle down until I came back. But if I had a friend whom he knew babysit him at my house--he was always just fine--even if I was gone all day or all evening. If I was out with a friend and left Max with my friend and walked away--he was frantic. But what I discovered was that if I stayed put, and my friend led him away--he was ok.
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I tried that the first time. I met her outside of her house and handed the leash to her and she walked him away from me. He was still the same way, but I found out later than she got inside her place before I drove away and apparently, he watched me get into my car and leave from her window. (The parking is right outside of her condo) Maybe next time I'll park around the corner and see if that helps…if she'll even volunteer to suffer through that again. :)
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When I've taken EL D to my brothers for a visit, he goes nuts if he can't keep me in sight. Doesn't matter if I go outside or just in another room. If he can't see me he's nuts. So maybe Tucker justs needs to think you are still around. If you can try again, have your friend take Tucker into a room until you've really gone.
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I would bet having a doggie companion would help him settle down.
He would have someone to bug him and play with. -
Have you tried leaving a well worn sweatshirt with your scent all over it for Tucker? He might enjoy curling up on it to help him relax. Of course you wouldn't want to leave one of your newer shirts - in case Tucker eats it.
That's a great idea! We did that when we had to leave our dogs at the kennel when we went away for a few days.
Does Tucker like bully sticks or compressed raw hide or cow hoof?? This might keep him busy while you're gone. And he'll associate with your leaving with a YUMMY special treat. :)
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I've thought about the clothing thing. Maybe just bringing his favorite blankets along so he's got a little piece of home to lie on…
I gave her my entire 'bag of tricks' to keep him occupied... Kong and stuff'n, Merricks beef filets, three different toys and a hung of rawhide he'd been working on... Apparently the Merrick Beef filets don't last more than a minute or two. They are like air entrianed beef jerky. Much like fat-back or pork rinds, but made of beef. Very easy to chow through.
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I would bet having a doggie companion would help him settle down.
He would have someone to bug him and play with.I totally agree with this. Our boys get a little upset if one of us (my husband or I) leaves, but if it's the boys who are separated from each other it's the whining and crying non-stop. They are inseparable.
I know you said Tucker is agressive towards other dogs, but do you think he could benefit from a companion?
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My friend HAS a dog. But it's an older Westie (12 years old), so it's not really a good basenji companion since it's gotten rather lethargic.
I've thought about adopting another, but I haven't a clue how Tucker would take it. I have a pretty small condo (900sf) and leaving two of them at home would stress me out beyond belief! Expecially getting a new one to bond and accept his surroundings (finding another 'perfect for my situation' dog). When I have a bigger place and a yard, I'll have a yardfull of them. :)
