I have been reading these posts and trying to figure out if or how to weigh in.
Most of you who've been here at least a few months know that I live with Keoki – if not the King, then the Prince of Separation and Crate Anxiety, not to mention a few other little "mental quirks". And you all know how much I ADORE my baby boy!!!!
He came to us at about 3 mos old. We already had one older mixed breed dog, and a 2 yr old Basenji female. We expected a few nights of crying, but nothing prepared us for the month of SCREAMING and crate tearing that would follow. He not only completely destroyed any bedding that was in the crate with him, but also did a good bit of damage to the crate itself.
I wound up spending nearly 8 mos sleeping on the floor in front of his crate, repeating all night, "Keoki, go to bed; go to bed....." It was the only way he'd sleep at all.
During the days when he had to be left alone -- which are seldom because I am a stay-at-home mom, he was always SCREAMING when we left the house, and SCREAMING when we got home.
I tried Rescue Remedy, which calmed him somewhat but didn't solve the problem. I stopped using that once I really grasped that the truly active ingredient was alcohol.
I went to a behaviorist/vet who had some good tips, and who also prescribed medications. The first medication seemed to work at first, for a couple of hours, then turned my dog into a crazy drunk.
The second medication did indeed calm him and help him to sleep. But it also changed his personality in a negative way.
The only thing that has brought us any peace is: Putting both of the Basenji crates inside an ex-pen {you can get fairly small ex-pens, if space is problem, BTW. And you just get extra panels for the top and bottom}.
I cannot latch his crate, and I cannot leave any bedding at all inside when he's in there and we are not home.
At first, it didn't help much -- he tore up the outside of both his and Jazzy's {the other B}crates a good bit, and he somehow managed to pull our other dogs bed into the ex-pen through those little tiny squares and tore it all up.
Now he sleeps okay in his crate, as long as it is unlatched and inside the ex-pen. {During the day, he goes in there all the time to sleep.}. Sometimes he crams into Jazzy's crate also, which doesn't thrill her and occasionally causes a small "disagreement".
When we leave him in there during the day, I replace all real bedding with paper towels. He has only recently stopped destroying those.
He now sleeps all night -- that was a goal achieved in November, when Keoki was around 11 mos old.
Our problem is not "solved", but we have a solution we can live with for the time being. Eventually, I'd like to see him over these things, but we'll see..... for now, I am content!
I guess my whole point with this rambling tale is that you are most likely facing a long and tedious battle. Crate fears and Separation anxiety do NOT have easy fixes. Even medical treatments -- IF they work -- are designed to be temporary while you work on behavior training.
You have to be prepared to be in it for the long haul. And if the whole family isn't on board with it, it can get very unpleasant {My dh was NOT happy about the situation, believe me!}
These dogs are so worth it, though. I hope you are able to to work through this.