@Rocky1 Kathrn, You've heard a hundred "I'm sorry's" & I'm also very sorry for the loss of your boys. I lost my girl Aug. 24. I know you try to be brave & not cry but since I live alone, I just let it out. I still have my girls toys laying out where she left them. I sleep on the sofa because that's where she slept next to my chair. One thing that makes me feel a little better is to picture my 1st. girl, Darla & my 2nd. one, Dorie, playing in the field by the rainbow bridge. Darla's cancer gone & Dorie able to play again, no pain, everything right with them again. Even my Yorkie is there with them! When I pass away, they'll be there & come running to me & after many kisses, head rubs & "I love you's" ... we will all walk over the Rainbow Bridge together, happy & we'll not be separated again! So just hang on tight to all the wonderful things you & your boys shared together because it will all happen again when you get to that field ~ they will be waiting for you!! Until then, if you need to cry...go ahead & cry, let it out! But remember, you'll all be together again some day.