He should adjust in time to losing his companion. However long that takes is questionable though and he will continue to be angry and feel neglected and reflect that anger with destruction just out of loneliness. It may improve with time and may not. You have to ask yourself is this fair for your dog? I would spend nearly all my time with him when I was home taking walks, etc. and if you can't do more than 2 hrs. it may be best to find a better home for him where he has a better environment. If his new home is a better place where there is a yard to run, and owners that can spend more time with him he will gradually accept the new home and owners. I know that is hard but may be the best. When your living situation improves you may think about owning another dog.
Other than that, working 2 jobs leaves the dog alone too much to be fair so you need to get someoneā¦the same person all the time... over to your apartment to spend time with him if you don't want to give him up. He can bond to that person and that will help the loneliness somewhat. If you decided to give him up, the new owners could come over frequently for walks and visits before you gave the dog to them so that the dog would consider them friends before adoption, that would help the dog transition. I would not give that dog to an inexperienced owner though. That could end in disaster. It will do the same things with the new owner although it should get over the transition quicker because it will be in a better environment. Also, was your husband the dog's leader? You now have to be a positive leader for him because it sounds like he lacks leadership.
Help please!
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Hi everyone! I need some advice please! Our new puppy is doing well, she has been with us for 2 weeks, she's 13 weeks now, she was easy to potty train, has learned some commands, etc. However, for the last 2 days sheās been nervous around my husband. She was fine with him the first 10 days home, would go sleep on his lap or shoulders. But now if he tries to pet her, she runs off and trembles. Nothing has changed in our routine, itās like she suddenly didnāt recognize him. Has this happened to anyone? I work from home so sheās fine with me. She gets to see my husband only in the evenings, when he gets back home. She's also great with our two daughters. My husband loves her and feels bad that he can't even approach her anymore. Oh and yesterday evening she started peeing on the sofa while looking straight at him... and she normally goes outside to pee... maybe she was upset that he was home? I told him to hand feed her this weekend, Iām hoping this will help but any other advice would be greatly appreciated! Iād like to fix this ASAP. Thank you!
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Let him take over feeding her.... and treats... let him walk her..... be apart of the process when he is home
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@tanza He does take her out, he does walk with her in the late evening and gives her treats... However he isn't there for the feedings during the work week because of his schedule and this cannot be changed. That's why I said he should hand feed her on weekends...
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To clarify, my husband does walk her when he is home (which is late evenings and weekends) and he does give her treats, etc. And up until she started her change in behaviour towards him 2 days ago, she would snuggle up to him and fall asleep on him every evening. That's why the only thing I can think that would help, is him (ONLY him) feeding her, by hand, on weekends.
I'm hoping for advice that can help improve her anxiety towards him.
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One trick that worked for our Sheba was to wet a hand and let her lick it. It helped her get over her fear of men.
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Puppies go through fear stages where they can freak out about something they were fine with previously. This is likely just one of those. If you don't over react is will likely pass quickly.
Tanza's suggestion of having him feed her is a great idea. Having him give her yummy treats is also good. Nothing is better than a trusted food source!
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@tony thank you for the advice!
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@donc We're doing everything else that was mentioned already, hopefully him feeding her (just him) this weekend will help . Thank you for mentioning the fear stages, let's hope it goes by quickly!
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A pocket with pieces of her favorite treat. The minute he walks in the door,and every time she makes eye contect and/or allows him to touch her. Does she have a favorite toy, in case she is one of those who is not food motivated, same process. Dont worry about over feeding, just cut back on regular portion during this process.
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@basenji_life Already good suggestions. Just to add, his reaction may be feeding the behaviour. When she doesnāt want him to pet her, then have him immediately ignore her.
My first two dogs didnāt like strangers, however they warmed quickly when ignored. The more a new person would try to pet them, the more they would be suspicious. Itās a little reverse psychology, I think often when someone is trying hard the dogs pick up on that but view it as suspicious or threatening.
I tell all visitors to ignore the dogs completely, then they become curious and before you know it they want attention. If they try to pet them, then they become suspicious and feel threatened.
Often with my dogs, they want to be petted but ātheir wayā lol. Sometimes I will pet their back and they get all annoyed because they want their chest petting. Most times I donāt care but once in a while I will tell them go away then lol. Then I get the offended look lol.
Basenjis are very different and do have quirks!
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@dagodingo This is interesting! Thank you we'll try this!
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@joan-duszka Thanks for the advice He'll give a treat every time he walks in!
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I agree with the ignore. You can do that and treats. When he walks in, without looking at her, drop a treat and keep moving. Maybe place hand palm up with a treat on it while on the sofa. Let her approach and get the treat. Add in "good girl" when she's comfortable with that. This way she isn't pressured to respond except in clearly positive (walks, feeding) situations, and she does the approach at other times.
He may have done something that startled her without realizing it. With patience she will get over it. Licking his hand to get his scent is great...maybe smear his palm with a little cream cheese or peanut butter (don't overdo it).
We need pictures, btw.
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@debradownsouth This morning he feed her himself by hand, however she only came and ate when he looked AWAY :smiling_face_with_open_mouth_closed_eyes: as mentioned so thank you! It's progress!
We went out with her today and did a few stops and we noticed she's reacting his way to all the men and she's fine with the women
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@basenji_life said in Help please!:
@debradownsouth This morning he feed her himself by hand, however she only came and ate when he looked AWAY :smiling_face_with_open_mouth_closed_eyes: as mentioned so thank you! It's progress!
We went out with her today and did a few stops and we noticed she's reacting his way to all the men and she's fine with the women
That's a big clue. Looking at her, particularly directly into her eyes, will likely be read as dominance or aggression and frightens her. When he does look in her direction it should be with unfocused eyes. Eventually when she relaxes with him you can teach eye contact. Clicker training is good for this.
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@basenji_life said in Help please!:
Oh and yesterday evening she started peeing on the sofa while looking straight at him... and she normally goes outside to pee... maybe she was upset that he was home?
Did you solve this issue? I had a dog who didnt like kids. Someone told me it could be because the previous owner had kids who scared the dog. So it could be a traumatic experience for the dog. And when kids were around, the dog would bark a lot always.