Because I believe Kohler and some are abusive, and Milan abusive and well dangerous, I don't try to be diplomatic. I tell them to go to veterinary behaviorists sites and see what they say and that they will find what I said is true. I then talk about building relationships with a PARTNER, not man-handling or dominating. I tell them if I put a shock collar on a toddler or husband I could teach them fast… but all trust and relationship are gone. That there are positive ways to train. Of course i also tell them I have 20 yrs experience with Rotties and chows and rehab for aggression and if I can do those with positive training, so can they. And I offer to give them a few free hours if they need help.
That said, have I ever used force? Yes. I had a dog go after someone in my house (actually the rescuer who brought the dog to me to evaluate and try to "fix"). If I had to kill a dog, even my own, to stop it hurting a person, I would. But I don't share that with non-dog people. I tell them if they have a dog that the ONLY way they can handle it is with force, they need professional help and fast. I am 54 years old in 2 weeks, and the number of times I have really had to use any kind of domination much less physical corrections has vastly decreased as I learned more.
Basenji and chows have a common trait... you want to train, make them think it is fun and their idea. 
And Linda, I share your pain. My first Rottie, not Koehler... but I used a newspaper on her and some harsh tones. She was the softest of dogs, never ever should I have had to correct her. I was young, I didn't know. But I looked at her and literally used to cry thinking of how much damage I did for no reason other than my inexperience. She never learned to think for herself, she always had to check with me. I did all sorts of confidence building, but she was confident except about ME. 
I just hope I have helped enough other people to make up for it.
