Good advice, all.
We've done obedience up to advanced training (she won a few awards), and overall she's a very well behaved dog. I do like the idea of making her sit before going over the fence. That's something we haven't tried, and it makes sense.
lvoss, we have looked at different gates, and that's definitely an option we'll consider down the road, I think. Right now it's more about modifying the behavior (both ours (overreacting) and the dogs (going after the wife)).
I think my sarcasm may have come off as a little too serious. No my wife's life isn't in danger, but her wardrobe is in trouble and occasionally she gets a nip. Overall, She-Ra's very well behaved but DOES behave like a B. There's a time when they want attention and you need to give it to them or they act out. That's what I think this is more than anything. It seems to happen when my wife gets home (before I do) and just wants to change (so she CAN play with the dog). I don't notice it as much at night when I'm there.
A friend also showed me a trick he does with his dog called "Find the Baby". He's established several toys as "babies" that the dog really likes. Whenver their dog (a pug) goes after something they don't want, all the need to do is say "Find the baby!" really excitedly. I tried this recently and while we haven't completely established her "babies" yet, she did stop and look up and head out with me to help find a toy.