Visiting family with your pets

Does anyone else have this problem? My parents are anti-dog people (they use to be anti-indoor cat too but they inherited my cat while I was in the Navy and went away for a few months, they feel in love with her and didn't want to give her back) and do not want us to come home over the holidays with the dogs. My father's concern is that it will upset the cat.

My sister who is terrified of dogs lives about 2 hours away and we normally would stay with her with the dogs (she is okay with Chase and Zahra since they are small and she has known them since they were puppies), travel to my parents for the day and then come back (she has a friend who would come in and walk the dogs while we are gone). The problem is that she is selling her house right now and the realtor comes by short notice with possible buyers so the house is in a constant "staged" look so we can't stay there (my poor brother in law is in misery, he is a messy person).

We are about 8 hours from their house, it costs us about $150 to board the dogs for the weekend so we have opted this time to just get a pet friendly hotel about 15 miles from my parents house (we have decided to go hiking with the dogs while we are there). My problem now is telling my parents that regardless I will have to bring the dogs while we come to visit their house because I am not going to leave the dogs in a kennel in the hotel room while we are gone for hours.

Oh, another big reason we have to stay at a hotel is because my husband is allergic to their cat. So either way we would probably have stayed at a hotel.

I guess I just wanted to see how others deal with this situation. I respect that they may not be dog people but it isn't like my dogs will be running wild there and it kills me because my sister who is terrified of dogs is fine with the dogs visiting her.

If I had to take the dogs I would kennel them while at my parents' house. Regardless of how well behaved and wonderful your dogs are, it is their house and therefore, IMO, their call.

My mom doesn't allow dogs in her home – never has, never will. I spent ten days there at Thanksgiving and the dogs had to stay in the garage all day {7 AM - 11 PM} in an ex-pen, next to an old woodstove. At night she allowed them indoors only in their crates.
We took them on very long walks {she lives on 30 hilly acres with deer, badgers, cougars, etc. around so there were lots of smells to keep them fascinated}.

Was it ideal? No. But they survived and my mom's home rules were respected.

My niece and nephew, both of whom have dogs, stay at area hotels and bring their dogs to the house when they visit, but the dogs never go indoors, other than the garage.

I don't think any of us would even think to question it.

My mother in-law is like JM's mother as far as no dogs in the house. And we do the same as set the dogs up in the garage with an ex-pen and a piece of carpet. And we stay in a hotel (well now we own a house in the area, so dogs stay at home). I have left my guys in the hotel before in thier kennels with no problems, but we weren't gone all day, just half.

Best suggestion is takl to your mom about taking an ex-pen and set them up in the garage (if possible)

When i moved out of my parent's house their dog got sick with something that caused severe incontenece. After missy died they were quite glad to be done cleaning up dog mess. Needless to say they were unhappy about us coming over with a puppy still being house broken. Over the years they have become somewhat anti-dog, but accept goober and mimi and luna because i told them that they have to. The great thing about family is that they still have to love you after you force them to love your pets too. Or when you get arrested on christmas day for drunkenly stumbling though the neighborhood shouting "merry new hanuka!" and wearing only a santa hat.

LOL! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜ƒ πŸ˜ƒ

@Gooby:

The great thing about family is that they still have to love you after you force them to love your pets too. Or when you get arrested on christmas day for drunkenly stumbling though the neighborhood shouting "merry new hanuka!" and wearing only a santa hat.

I have this problem with my family too. I try to be empathetic, as until I got Tosca I was completely against dogs of every kind. I used to be deathly afraid of them as a child, and even as an adult I don't like them much. When we got her, everyone said YOU got a dog? But I have grown to love her a lot, although I am still not a fan of other dogs for some reason. I guess to me she is just not a "Dog", she is my pet πŸ™‚
Anyway, my point is, my parents are like me, and while they tolerate Tosca, they don't really like having her over. When we first got her (in Feb) they were really good about taking her the first few months, and then over time they hinted they only wanted her if we had no other options. I try to be understanding, but its hard for me because I didn't like other dogs in my home becuase they smell, shed, pee in the house, etc. None of which my dog does. But my parents dont like having to "Basenji-proof" the house, which means putting everything up and closing off most of the house to her. I am never sure how to handle this either, and how far to push the issue of bringing her over. Luckily my parents have been pretty good about it so far, but we will see in the future. It definitely has caused some tension here and there though the last few months. I guess I don't really have some advice, I just wanted to let you know I go through similar problems with my family. Good luck and happy holidays!

Jylly18,

Thanks, it does help to know that someone else is in my shoes.

I am really glad that we are staying at a hotel and that we will be able to spoil them with hiking and being free in the hotel room. They will have to stay in the kennel at my parents house because their house will never be dog proof.

My mother in law does not mind the dogs coming over but the house is rarely "basenji-proof" and because so many people who visit her just leave the front door open they usually end up confined to "our" bedroom if anyone else is over or we are not there. It it the one basenji-proof room. She adores the dogs though and cooks every meal for them when we are there.

When we visit my parents we have to stay in a hotel because Nicky can not stand Cole. Nicky feels that once the boys have left the house they can not be part of the pack again. Luckily there is a La Quinta down the street from my parents that accept dogs. There are also several dog parks in the area, including one that is almost always empty because it is much smaller than the other ones so it is a good place to take Nicky so he can run off some energy.

@Gooby:

. Needless to say they were unhappy about us coming over with a puppy still being house broken. Over the years they have become somewhat anti-dog, but accept goober and mimi and luna because i told them that they have to. .

I guess I have a different take; I really feel that it is their house and so their wants/desires/rules need to be respected and I will work around that. I rather expect houseguests in my home to do the same.

I have a sister-in-law w/a chihuahua and whenever she visits my mom she always lets that dog run right into the house – opens the door and lets Thoma run in first -- and expects mom to be happy to see them both. It hasn't done much to create a warm and fuzzy DIL-MIL relationship. 😞

I agree, I would never presume to think that all of my family and/or friends accept my dogs in their home. And I would respect their wishes/rules… as said it is their home and they have a right to make the rules...

@tanza:

I agree, I would never presume to think that all of my family and/or friends accept my dogs in their home. And I would respect their wishes/rules… as said it is their home and they have a right to make the rules...

Ditto. Our family on both sides is very doggy. In fact, we are the ones who don't bring our dogs to family get togethers because they don't like to visit their "cousins". But if someone didn't want the dogs there, I certainly wouldn't push to have them visit….kinda makes the visit uncomfortable for everyone.

But I have no problem leaving my dogs in crates at a hotel, as long as the hotel allows that, and it isn't a REALLY long time, and they are well behaved in a crate. I also have no problem leaving them in the crates in the car, if the weather is appropriate, when we visit family.

I hope you find something that everyone is comfortable with πŸ™‚

Well, our plans are set, I talked to my Dad tonight and he is expecting the dogs to be coming and to be kenneled on their unfinished side of that basement or in my old bedroom while we are there. I would not leave them in the hotel room for that time frame because the hotel is about a half an hour away (I'm from a small town, there are two hotels in my home town one just opened and is booked the other is kind of shady and I don't believe that they are dog friendly and I don't trust staying there). My Dad is actually cool with the dogs, my Mom is not so sure she was never really an animal person when I was growing up, the cat is actually my Dad's more than hers. She is funny though and mentioned picking up these white chocolate milk bones from their favorite chocolate place (Callies Candy kitchen) which is what she did for them last year and sent them home with me for them (Last year they were in a kennel, my husband was deployed and I went home alone).

I feel pretty confident that things are hopefully going to work out well. No one should be angry or feel bad. My parents have many friends coming over while we are there that are all dog lovers and know about Chase and Zahra so I have a feeling that they will still get lots of visitors and walks outside. Guess I better give them both baths and brush up on the dog tricks!

Good luck! Glad you were able to work something out that will hopefully keep everyone happy! I'm sure Chase and Zahara will be a hit!

When my middle son and wife come to visit - they bring their 2 labs. I let the labs be loose in the house and kennel my basenjis - can't imagine the basenji 500 with 2 huge labs in a small house. As folks get older though the dogs can be an issue so don't know how much longer I'll be able to let them come. This Thanksgiving - 2 labs and 2 mature ladies with walkers was interesting.

However when we would go and visit my husbands family - could never bring dogs - they refused to have dogs in the house - ever.

I agree with whoever said - their house their rules.

Looks like your connection to Basenji Forums was lost, please wait while we try to reconnect.