Ladybasenji, where are you in Quebec? Montreal? We have a place in Gatineau (Aylmer sector) and one of my dogs might even be related to yours. You're experiences with your girl remind me so much of my first basenji, about 20 years ago–it gets easier, I swear! Let me know if you'd like help with Lady--they're nothing like labs and will never be "obedient" but there are tricks for training them : D
You can pick your pets, but not your family - A Vent
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I understand that as well. I only made my comment because she'd said that she was tempted to ask her cousin, "What if it were your daughter?".
That analogy would be completely lost because for {most} parents, that's be like comparing apples to elephants.
I was a pet owner-lover LONG before I ever had kids; and I thought I loved my pets as much as parents loved their children. After I had children, I was stunned at how much deeper that love can go.
Not saying it'd be that way for everyone, but I am saying there's a huge difference!You may get farther taking less offense, and trying to describe what the pet has meant to your life – the joy, the companionship, etc. -- that you are reluctant to lose w/out a fight.
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You may get farther taking less offense, and trying to describe what the pet has meant to your life – the joy, the companionship, etc. -- that you are reluctant to lose w/out a fight.
No offense taken at all
Just sharing my thoughts/feelings as I have found this forum is a great place to do that. -
Oh no, I meant….. when you {or anyone} encounter someone who views the pets as "animals" not as their "babies", to not take offense and get upset, but to explain just what the pets mean to you on a personal level.
That people think of pets as "family" is really a fairly new concept, and foreign to many cultures. So, that people don't share that view shouldn't
really, IMO, shock or offend.I didn't think....I hope rightfully.. that you were offended by my comments. {I'm not quite as sure that I didn't offend Lorraine.
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Okay, stepping in and putting on my flak jacket, but as a mom AND a pet-lover, I will say that there ARE financial limits to what I will spend to keep a pet alive, and there are NO limits to what I will spend to keep a child alive.
There is no comparison between the two.I agree. I love my animals but children are different. I can totally understand that if you don't have human kids the animals may take that place but as a mom and pet lover my human child will always come first. I believe there is a limit to how much you spend on a pet as well. Just my opinion. I can see how you, redandwhitefurever, would be upset with your cousin but if she can't afford it, she can't afford it and the pet probably had a good life while it was here. My anger towards pet owners are when they put an animal down for inconveinience issues. Too busy, new baby etc.
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This is where my anger usually lays as well. People get animals and then discard for trivial and selfish reasons. But, people also keep animals alive when the animal clearly needs to be let go. I've seen animals being kept alive on IV which was clearly not meant to be. I've heard, 'Oh, there's a spark in his eyes!'-which blind eye do you mean? I would never keep an animal alive that faced constant pain or constant extreme means of human intervention. Financial aspects, for me do not come into it. I've spent thousands of dollars with good and bad outcomes. It should be about the animal-not the human's feelings.
Lorraine - Children are completely different as well. Hopefully your neice will be able to separate the Mom's aspect of 'disposable pets' and see this is not a correct thing to do. It sounds like you're doing everything you can to correct this thinking. Keep up the good work. Your values will show through. I have the some differences with my sister also and I think the same things about her. -
I think my biggest issue with all of this lies in the fact that my cousin is my family. I personally don't give a rat's behind what some Joe Schmoe off the street thinks about the way I live my life/treat my dogs etc. Had a starnger made the comment, I'd not have taken it so personally or been hurt by it. My cousin is no stranger to the important stuff in my life, nor am I to the important stuff in hers - she knows how much Stormie means to me. I didn't voice my opinion to her on how I felt it was wrong to not even try to help her sick cat on Tues. evening and then for her to go out on a frivoulous shopping spree on Friday night. I expressed sympathy and offered some advice. It wasn't my place and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. For her to callously say that in my shoes, she'd have my dog put to sleep on diagnosis? That's when it crossed the line. I was angry and I'm still hurt by her comments. I love my cousin's daughter -she's sweet beyond belief, and I do hope she develops a deeper appreciation of companion animals than her mother's.
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She will, with your help.
My sister and I are not close…but my niece has been part of my life and we are dear friends...
Some folks you can't teach and will not hear...but her daughter can be a champion for animals. SHE has you to teach her...
Hugs for your loss of friendship with the adult and sorry about this discord in your family. Kudos for working to teach the next generation the "right" thing to do. -
@red:
I think my biggest issue with all of this lies in the fact that my cousin is my family. I personally don't give a rat's behind what some Joe Schmoe off the street thinks about the way I live my life/treat my dogs etc. Had a starnger made the comment, I'd not have taken it so personally or been hurt by it. My cousin is no stranger to the important stuff in my life, nor am I to the important stuff in hers - she knows how much Stormie means to me. I didn't voice my opinion to her on how I felt it was wrong to not even try to help her sick cat on Tues. evening and then for her to go out on a frivoulous shopping spree on Friday night. I expressed sympathy and offered some advice. It wasn't my place and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. For her to callously say that in my shoes, she'd have my dog put to sleep on diagnosis? That's when it crossed the line. I was angry and I'm still hurt by her comments. I love my cousin's daughter -she's sweet beyond belief, and I do hope she develops a deeper appreciation of companion animals than her mother's.
I think you should tell her that! You could really politely say something like 'you know I love you, but that really hurt my feelings and shocked me when you said if Stormie were yours you would put him down.' You could tell her that Stormie is like your child, and you can't believe she was insensitive enough to tell you that.
I think it is always better to share your mind…but sometimes it is easier said than done.
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I don't know that I could effectively comment on this, as the situation hasn't really (and knock wood never will) presented itself to our family. I know that I would take as many steps as I was able to afford, but there are financial limits to any situation, and hopefully I'll never find out what mine are.
Currently I have to give my diabetic cat, Booger, insulin shots every morning. He's 18 years old and I know many people would have had him put down a long time ago. I don't see him suffering at all, and he's still alert and active, so I happily pay for the insulin and the shots for him. Based on that paradigm I'm sure if something happened with She-Ra I'd move heaven and earth to take care of her.
I'm finding this topic interesting, though, because more than one person has asked me how the hell Booger's still alive and why haven't I put him down yet? I shrug it off (because I KNOW they're joking when they say it), but I often wonder how far I'd be willing to go to protect the ones I love?
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I think folks who love their animals consider the quality of life the critter is having.
Your cat sounds like its still "all good" and you should give him the shots until it no long is good for him.
It's a hard decision.
I have (in the past) kept a pet alive longer than I should have.
Once I was out of the trama of that, I realized I did the cat no service and
promised myself not to do that again.
I try to let the animals tell me when its time.
My beloved basenji girl, Dandy-Candy, was very well loved to the end.
the last day, I knew she was wanting to go, so I went to the vet, got a pill to help her relax before her final car ride.
I gave the pill to her, took her to the favorite park to walk, then we rode around in the car, until she was asleep.
She never knew when we got to the vets.
I think of that final car ride and it gives me peace because she was calm.
Hugs for everyone who has a senior animal and treasures the "golden times".. -
The vet told me that if the medical expeses are getting to the point that it was "taking food off your table" that I should have the dog put to sleep. I can see if the prognosis was poor and the dog was suffering, I'd do that. Even the vet was surprised at how well Senji has responded to the treatment. I figure…he was a low-maintenence dog all these years. With the money I saved having a "self-cleaning" dog, who rarely went to the groomer, I figure I can afford to pay more for him now that he needs it.
On the other hand, my friend Ginny had a Lhasa Apso that developed a brain tumor. She took that poor dog to Cleveland every day for a month for radiation treatments. (A 3-hour drive.) After that, she spent hundreds of dollars a month on seizure medicines and even hired a baby-sitter to watch him while she went to work. The poor animal was suffering horribly, but Ginny wasn't able to "let him go". The dog was 12 years old, and lived for less that a year after its diagnosis. -
I had my first cat put to sleep at age 18 when she was hit with kidney failure. The vet suggested dialysis but I couldn't see putting a cat through that, esp. at the age of 18.
We also had a 6 yr old corgi put to sleep when he developed some kind of back ailment that the vet had trouble diagnosing. His back and legs starting giving out on him. We built a ramp to accomodate him but eventually, The dog couldn't stand up, and would urinate all over himself. He was so miserable, and the vet couldn't identify the problem w/out extensive tests being done. That poor dog would never have understood repeated trips to the vet, and every trip was so painful for him. We opted to let him go, as there was no clear end in sight for the pain.
I think we did the right thing, but I tell you, there are still days I wonder…..
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Quercus - as much as this is/has eaten away at me, is as quickly as my cousin has forgotten she even made the comment. You're quite right - it is sometimes much easier said than done clearing the air.
Torchsong - I admire your dedication to your cat, who sounds like he's still got a good quality of life. You know how I spent Monday evening? Chasing down my old man cat who decided to sneak out the door when I was taking the dogs out. He disappeared in the woods. I caught him once and when I went to get a hold on him, I scared him and he really bit me hard. My thumb swelled to 3x's it's normal size from his bite - ouch! So I cleaned myself up and headed back to the woods with an ice pack on my thumb. Many hours later, still no cat - he came home the next morning at 5:00 AM hungry and needing to use the litter pan. Me? I spent the night in tears worried about the little maniac :rolleyes: while he had the adventure of his life. Funny little devil cat!!
Sharron ((((hugs)))) to you - it sounds like you made Sandy Dandy's last hours very peaceful for both of you. Knowing when to say goodbye will always be the hardest part of pet ownership.
elena - I agree that some people do keep their furkids around after the animal is trying to tell them it's time. When the time comes, I do hope I can see clearly enough to be able to do the right thing and that finances will never have to guide my hand.
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JazzysMom - I think always you wonder if the time was right, or if time would have made a difference. You can only work with the information in front of you, and I'm sure you made the right desicion at the right time. I know it's hard - I watched my precious Buckwheat cat (who was only approx. 2 yrs. old - he was a stray I took in) suffer with seizures that the vet couldn't diagnose a cause for. One evening Buckwheat seized badly at the foot of my bed - I rushed him to an emergency vet and made it too late, he'd passed on the way the there. I still wonder if I'd tried harder to find a cause or found another vet if he'd still be with me. It's so hard to live with the doubt and uncertainty. (((hugs)))
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I had a bad time with my 8 year old boxer too. I kept him a live for 3 months on the vet's-'well, let's try this'-until I finally said no more (this was when I finally carried a 52 lb boxer into the vet's-literally carried him-he couldn't get up and had a hard time breathing). I still wonder what if?
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@red:
I think my biggest issue with all of this lies in the fact that my cousin is my family. I personally don't give a rat's behind what some Joe Schmoe off the street thinks about the way I live my life/treat my dogs etc. Had a starnger made the comment, I'd not have taken it so personally or been hurt by it. My cousin is no stranger to the important stuff in my life, nor am I to the important stuff in hers - she knows how much Stormie means to me. I didn't voice my opinion to her on how I felt it was wrong to not even try to help her sick cat on Tues. evening and then for her to go out on a frivoulous shopping spree on Friday night. I expressed sympathy and offered some advice. It wasn't my place and I didn't want to hurt her feelings. For her to callously say that in my shoes, she'd have my dog put to sleep on diagnosis? That's when it crossed the line. I was angry and I'm still hurt by her comments. I love my cousin's daughter -she's sweet beyond belief, and I do hope she develops a deeper appreciation of companion animals than her mother's.
I can definitely see your point. If anyone suggested to put Dash or any of my animals down I would be furious for the comment regardless of the situation. When I was in high school my cat became diabetic. My dad took her to the vet and when they told him she would need shots he had her put down. I still have not forgiven him for that. I was crushed. She could have lived a good life. Diabetes is not a death sentence. The decision to put her down should have been when she couldn't have a comfortable life. My mom said years later after I had worked in vet clinics for years that we could have done it without putting her down. Although reassuring, too late.
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I think most of us animal lovers are very hard on ourselves.
I believe that our beloved critters are looking down on us, saying "Hey, you did the best for me when I was well, and we will be together again, one day, so lets remember the good times!".
Major hugs to all you folks.
I think your all wonderful!
