You need to get a professional to come to your home and observe... and give suggestions
Baby Aiden Due ANY Day Now…(gettting worried!!)
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Just wondering since my son is Due any day now, if there is ANY last minute advice as to what to do and what NOT to do with Jack and the baby!! I was also wondering if it has been a good idea for me to not allow Jack into the baby's room. Its been sorta off limits as long as we have lived here its the ONE room in our house he doesn't get to take over. I have been letting him go in for a minute (while i quickly put something away) and sniff the area, but not long at ALL. Then i say, "Jack, OUT of Aiden's room" and he responds quickly and trots out. I don't want him to think its OK to be in Aiden's room, just because i think i deserve ONE room where i can go, and Jack cant…I also know, Jack is going to be pushed a bit off to the side once the baby is here, esp. at the very beginning. I PROMISE (and so does DH) to take a few moments out of our busy days to make sure Jack gets his pet and pat, but i made DH promise to also cut WAY back on the rough house play once Aiden is here and make it a ONLY outside activity...and lastly, when it comes to basenji's (mainly male neutered) any of YOUR personal experiences with a newborn and your feisty neutered male B would be greatly appreciated!! PLEASE let me know if the above ideas and rules are going to even WORK (lol) and if I'm on the right track here. Of course we DO plan on having DH bring home a bit of the baby's smell (blanket or what not) before mommy comes home to share the baby with Jack...(should we let Jack JUST smell the blanket or, HAVE it??) and lastly, When the baby FIRST enters the home, how do i approach Jack with him?? I know its ALLOT of ??? ??'s guys, but ALL comments will help!!! (ease my nerves too) lol...THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH!!!:D -
You'll probably want to give him as much cuddle time as you can-just so he know's he's not displaced.
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When Dylan was born, Rocky was 10 yrs old. He was a very sweet chow/spaniel mix. I was careful not to leave them alone together. If I couldn't be with both, I brought baby in bathroom for my shower and closed door to keep Rocky out. I had heard stories about the jealousy factor, and I wasn't going give my sweet little Rocky any opportunity to be bad. I was so glad to have Rocky when I had my son. Some days were difficult with baby (colicky) and it was nice that he was there to comfort me. I loved petting his long fuzzy fur. Very relaxing.
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I would keep them separated as much as possible at first. certainly never leave Jack alone ever with any child (I would say that about any dog).
Only allow strictly supervised interaction with Jack on a leash held by someone else. The more more you control the situation the better.
You can't allow Jack to become too jealous, but he has to realize the child is above him in the pack order. Fawning all over your son in front of Jack won't help. Our dogs get jealous when we show attention to our teenage daughter- usually what they do is seek bad attention and will up that till they get your attention. Bad attention is better than no attention at all.
it's going to be important to give Jack a lot of special attention.
I would crate jack during feedings and really keep the Jack away from the baby if you are alone. Feed the baby before Jack.
Don't give Jack the chance to do something you will regret. Jack needs to earn his time with your child, showing you he can behave himself around the baby. Same with room privilages.
I'm sure after a proper length of time Jack will bond with you new son.
Be forewarned, our dogs have bitten both our kids. The kids will learn to respect the dog. While totally unacceptable, the bites were never really bad and seemed to be more of them telling the child back off. Every dog is different and maybe it will not happen to you, but the real issue will be when your son becomes a toddler and really can't control his impulses. This is when you really need to watch both like a hawk. A basenji will only tolerate so much slapping & tugging.
Some dogs view a running toddler as wounded prey, so letting the two go out back & run together could be a very bad idea.
I'm sure everything will go fine, but you need to be very vigilant, and learn to expect the unexpected. Don't give Jack a chance to do something bad and you minimize the chances. Likewise children can become very jealous of the dog and like wise seek bad attention or be mean to the dog, provoking the dog, to get him in trouble. "You love that dog more than you love me!"
My wife & I have heard that line many times!
Take one day at a time and all should be fine.
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We didn't do much different than normal when we brought Ethan home. I think it is important to keep the dog's routine fairly similar. So if there are going to be big routine changes start them now (or weeks ago). Tim brought a blanket home from the hospital, the dogs couldn't care less. I had my mom bring the baby in the house when we came home, so I could greet the dogs since I had been gone for two days. We had the dogs outside while we came in and settled, then in a quiet room we let each dog in indiviually to meet him. They all were curious, and I let them sniff him..and then they were done. Except Bella, who felt it was important to try to lick the baby fuzz off his head, and I gently stopped that.
After that, it was just business as usual. We didn't make a big deal about it, and neither did they (there were only four then). Of course we didn't leave him alone in the room with any of them just in case, but they didn't really show any interest unless he cried, then they looked at me like "are you going to DO something?"
The trouble usually starts when the baby starts toddling. Toddlers move strangely, and it is unnerving for dogs, especially when they come towards them, and reach for them YIKES!
If your dog becomes nervous in this situation you will have to do some desensitization work, and be very viligiant when they are near each other. I figure, if the dog gets scared and growls at the child before the child is old enough to understand to leave the dog alone, that is MY fault, not the dogs. I have to be the advocate for the dog, and not let the child freak him out. You don't want to reprimand a dog heavily for being scared by a child…they will become even more wary, and more likely to bite.
There are lots of basenjis that adapt to a baby in the family with no problem...try not to be so nervous that you make Jack nervous
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(there were only four then)
That's why it might be a bit harder, Jack is an only child and dependant on mom. Mom is Jack's only playmate when dad is gone.
When we got our second Basenji things seemed to go smoother because they had each other fight & play with, when the humans were busy.
There are lots of basenjis that adapt to a baby in the family with no problem…try not to be so nervous that you make Jack nervous
That's a great point, if you are at ease, Jack will read that in you and make him calmer.
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I agree with Andrea & Barklessdog…I've read a bunch of books on this topic and all mention the same scenario. Have someone bring back something with the baby's smell so that Jack recognizes the smell. And have someone else bring the baby into the house so that you can give Jack his usual hellos
Bs are CURIOUS :eek: there's a shocker! So don't be surprised if Jack wants to sniff the heck out of the little bundle. When my sister bought her son over my Bs were on him like a wet t-shirt
they needed to sniff every inch of him Jack needs to sniff out the baby that way he'll get used to the baby. And I would do the same type of training he can come into the room if he sits nicely & after a few sit/stay or down/stays let him out nicely. Anytime he's around the baby reward him for good behavior like sitting nicely & doing a nice down. Make being near the baby a great thing...lots of yummy treats! I would think that changing routines is what's really of concern here rather then introducing the baby himself. Keep up the same schedule that way Jack doesn't have any accidents in the house & doesn't start chewing on things & destroying things out of boredom. He still needs to be exercised & let out for potty as usual. You may want to introduce Jack to the stroller (witout the baby) and walk with it so Jack is used walking with the baby.
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When the baby FIRST enters the home, how do i approach Jack with him?? I know its ALLOT of ??? ??'s guys, but ALL comments will help!!! (ease my nerves too) lol…THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH!!
Don't approach Jack to show him the baby, that shows he is alpha. Make him come to you to see the baby and don't make a big fuss over it, try to ignore Jack a little & be calm. Our Alpha male never runs up to greet people he always tries to make them come to him, he will lay down on a carpet well away and want you to come pet him. It's a alpha doggy game- you come to ME!
Don't give Jack the blanket to play with or he might think baby clothes are toys. Just let him sniff it or put it in his crate to sleep on (Nows a good time for crate training)
I would put your changing table in his room so Jack does not get involved. I'm sure the biggest thrill of jacks life will be to steal that dirty diaper!
I really doubt Jack would try to hurt an infant, they don't do anything to provoke a dog. Babies are smorgasboards of licking sticks. All that baby food, milk & dirty diapers are irrestable to a dog. I bet he will want to give the baby a lot of kisses!
Once the child becomes mobile is when the supervision is a must. You have 6-9 months till then.
Many times I expect my dogs to be just awful and hey turn around and really pleasantly surprise you with really good behavior.
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I interpret that as the dog thinking 'I don't know you, or know what your are capable of, you might be a threat....I will hang out over here and assess the situation until I feel ready to make another move.'
Why would a dog care what the social status of a new visitor is? Nature would dictate that it is more important to assess the threat level of a novel situation rather than its social implications... -
He does that to us. The other dog comes running over to greet people all wiggily, tail wagging and kissing.
It's above his dignity.
He still wants attention, but he wants you to come to him.
I make him get up and come to me (he does)
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Topaz is the same..I take is her generally aloofness with everyone
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Although I have a female Basenji, I'll give you my experience:
We had Natalie when Nala was 10 mos. old. Nala was our first "child" and slept in the bed with us, under the covers - as she still does. :p We even co-slept with both of our children until recently (still on occasion too). :o There was never a problem except when she became a toddler and wanted to play with Nala's round foam fleece bed. She made what we call an "ugly" noise (for which she was immediately reprimanded, "NO!") :mad:
We did something similar to what Andrea said. No real big routine change. When we brought her home, Nala came up and sniffed her and was really interested - but in a sweet way. We praised her for that, as we still do for good behavior. She wasn't well socialized with children, just around them on occasion. We were excited to introduce them to each other! I have tons of pictures of my husband and/or me on the couch resting with Natalie in our arms and Nala in between our legs. Same 4 years later with Logan. We also have pictures of Nala peeking into the bassinette on her hind legs. Of course, we never left them alone together…mostly because I rarely left her alone!;)
The only thing that I really try to do (and it's tough for Nala) is to not use her paws as "hands" to get our attention. I guess I had the presence of mind back then NOT to teach her "give me your paw" or "shake hands", because I had friends whose child was scratched in the face, near the eye. We taught Nale to "use your nose", when she want to be pet, etc.
You have to be cautious certainly, but I don't think I would expect him to be anything but curious.IMO, it will be really difficult to not make a fuss over the baby, you (and all of your visitors) just will.:D I think you should just equally make a fuss over what a good boy Jack is too.
It's just a change in the household and everyone will have to make adjustments. You and your husband should talk about it and make sure he is there with you to intervene if he tries to jump on you and the baby and scratch him. You will be recovering for a while and won't be able to jump up and fend him off, even if it is just to sit on you or whatever.Boy, I can go on and on and on....:eek:
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THANKS SOOO much for all this advise, Ive already learned ALLOT!! lol…Jack doesn't crate...never will, i think he was abused in the crate before we rescued him bc when we put him in a crate a actually hurt himself getting out, and shook and peed and cried...poor guy. So he sleeps in a doggie bed, and goes outside on a line to pee often. he LOVES being outside. According to the animal rescue, Jacks former owner had five children...i don't know if its true, but whenever someone come over with a child (toddlers mainly) Jack doesn't do much at all, and when he gets annoyed he just goes somewhere else. Ive had NO problems with him and a 3 yr old who is OBSESSED with Jack. I remind her to be gentle with Jack, but she is a three year old, so sometimes she pulled his ears or tail and Jack would yelp and trot off...but these are only visits that last a day or less, so I'm sure when my son is a toddler its going to get more annoying for Jack. I'm wondering if Jack should be allowed to sleep in our room or in the Hallway (between my room and Aiden's room) He has slept in both no problem, he just sleeps wherever we put his doggie bed, but we haven't tried to get him to sleep downstairs. (we are upstairs) I don't think he will sleep on a different floor than us. I'm feeling much better about this whole situation tho, I'm SURE Jack will be interested but generally calm about everything. Just no more rough house play inside...lol. I also heard that me as alpha female should use the "bahh!" sound if jack comes close while bf or and feeding of the baby...like in a real pack. He responds to that when hubby and I are eating dinner, we both "Bahh" (our growl, lol) and he will keep his distance...this is a good idea right? Anyway, THANKS again for all your help!!! Kira
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He does that to us. The other dog comes running over to greet people all wiggily, tail wagging and kissing.
It's above his dignity.
He still wants attention, but he wants you to come to him.
I make him get up and come to me (he does)
Oh, I see…he does that to you...I guess that could be a power play....
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If he isn't interfering, I wouldn't make him leave. He is used to sitting next to you, and he will be totally confused and angry at the baby if you "dump" him now that the baby is (will be) here.
I just made room for the dogs to sit next to me while I nursed, if they tried to interfere (they never did) I would have made them get down.
Think of it this way...if you give him the impression that 'you have been replaced by this baby' he will absolutely resent the baby. If you give him the impression that 'this baby is a valuable member of our pack, and he we will all protect him and care for him' you will do okay.
Try to reward him in the presence of the baby when his behavior is good, rather than correct him when his behavior is bad. Try to set it up so he needs very little correction with the baby._
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It sounds like Jack has had good child experience and he should do fine.
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**I'm thinking it will all be ok, I just have to be cautious and attentive!! but I'm naturally always like that!! lol. THANKS AGAIN for all your advise!!
K**
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I just have to be cautious and attentive!! but I'm naturally always like that!! lol.
That just shows what a great mom & dog owner you are, trying to be as responsible as you can. I think it's great.
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uhhhh OKAY??
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make sure the babies stuff is already out around the house. Bring something home for your Furkid when you bring the baby home. It might sound bad but I stop & love on our B before I go to my son
(10months) for hugs when I get home from work or where ever. This way he gives me space & time with my son and my Basenji will sit calmly and watch.
