Fear of husband-help!

[mrslee52805]

@Patty:

I'm not a fan of the squirt bottle, either…. imagine every time you did what was natural to you, like laugh, you got squirt in the face!

Maybe a reassuring "It's okay, Rusty", would be better? My other dog, Joker, is a rat terrier, and he has two distinctive barks: one where he is protective of us, and another when he's playing. Once Rusty gets used to his new home, he will probably calm down.

Patience and time, and relax! Do you know how many other homes your dog lived in before yours? Once he realizes that this is his "forever" home, I'm sure he will settle in to being wonderful.

Congratulations on your new addition, and thank you for rescuing him!

He has been with 3 homes. The women who found him, then a family, then back to the women who found him, then to another women who adopted him 6wks ago and had to give him back since her boyfriend came home from overseas and didnt like him. She told them that he hid behind her when he came home and barked at him. Then he went back to the women who rescued him and now to us.

[DebraDownSouth]

Andrea said everything I would, except I would also add more men.

Get friend to go with you to park or even a parking LOT if none near. Have friend go to every man possible, give a treat and ask to go by and toss to the dog. Tiny treats so don't over do it (and decrease food if necessary to compensate, lol). Do this a couple of times a week. Once the dog looks happily at men approaching, work on them getting closer, closer, and after a week or 2, actually hold out hand to give treat. Really it won't take more then 4 or 5 times until you retrain the dog to see males as a good thing.

[Quercus]

@DebraDownSouth:

Andrea said everything I would, except I would also add more men.

Get friend to go with you to park or even a parking LOT if none near. Have friend go to every man possible, give a treat and ask to go by and toss to the dog. Tiny treats so don't over do it (and decrease food if necessary to compensate, lol). Do this a couple of times a week. Once the dog looks happily at men approaching, work on them getting closer, closer, and after a week or 2, actually hold out hand to give treat. Really it won't take more then 4 or 5 times until you retrain the dog to see males as a good thing.

But I wouldn't do this right away. He already sounds overwhelmed with change. I would keep it simple, and only add new things once he is comfortable with the household.

[Patty M]

Awww, no wonder he's nervous, he's like a ping pong ball! Can you imagine being a year old, and having to adjust to three different sets of rules?

We adopted Lola in May, and she was not potty trained because she was confined to the kitchen area of her last home.. Well,she's been here for 6 months, and I would say that she's finally figured it out. (We are Lola's fourth home, and she's almost 2.)

[DebraDownSouth]

@Quercus:

But I wouldn't do this right away. He already sounds overwhelmed with change. I would keep it simple, and only add new things once he is comfortable with the household.

I agree! I like to give them at least a couple of weeks to get used to new home before taking out places.

[mrslee52805]

He will take treats from my husbands hand and then back about a foot away and eat it. The biggest concern is when he gets up from sitting and moves around. The rescue give a 7wk trial period and if he is still not a good fit then they will take him back. I dont want to give him back. He is GREAT with my 3 yr old and me. So we will just take it one step at a time.

Another question…. On thanksgiving we will have more men over here what should I do with him then? I dont want him to bark and be scared the whole time. Should I put him upstairs or in the crate in the living room or try and let him roam freely as he does now?

[listeme]

I think the holiday is so soon that I'd probably let him stay upstairs, maybe with a tv or radio to further buffer him. You're right – you don't want him to be scared the whole time.

He sounds like a sweet boy who needs a little time to get his feet under him.

[tanza]

I agree, for the holiday keep him crated in a different room otherwise the chances of him getting overwhelmed by all the people an activity is for sure going to happen.

[Patty]

I adopted a Basenji (Bernie) who had lived for 3 years with his female breeder, he wasn't actually terrifed but just didn't like men. (Then there were 5 males in my family). He eventually accepted my sons but it took a whole year for him to accept my husband. One day my husband was sitting on the sofa and Bernie clambered on his lap, from then on all was well, so 7 weeks is really quite a short time for him to change. Be patient and get your husband to hand feed him for a while. This should make a big difference but as the others say don't let him get overwhelmed by too many men at a time.

[DebraDownSouth]

another idea, btw, might be to try leashing him and have your husband just lead him around in a few days after he is more settled.

[nomrbddgs]

The tethering him to the husband may also backfire. He is essentially being forced to confront the thing he fears most. IMO the better thing is to show him that your husband is a good thing. I agree with having your husband be the one to take care of him. Once he bonds a little bit, then I would tether him later after he gains a bit of trust. But this is My Opinion only.

[mrslee52805]

My husband does walk him and he is so so with him. BUT yesterday my husband came home, walked in ignored rusty sat down in the recliner. Our female, Chloe, walked up to him to get petted and then so did Rusty!! It only lasted for about 2 min but then he went back to being scared. So I think we are making progress! I was shocked when i saw that.

[Patty M]

Yes, you are, and so is Rusty! If only we could peek into his brain to understand what happened in his first year of life to make him leary…. time, love and tenderness (wait, is that a Michael Bolton song?:)).

He sure is a beautiful dog, and with his big "sister" there to teach him the ropes, he will quickly learn that he's there for the long-haul... I bet that within a month, you will be amazed at his transformation. Hearts and hugs to your family!

[DebraDownSouth]

Arlene, that's why I said after he is more settled. Certainly tethering when afraid not good. But once they are okay, it makes the getting up and moving around part of his activity also and should stop the barking if it continues.

We had a rescue here that barked every time my husband moved. Fine with him, took food, sat, let him groom… but let Larry move and he barked. Tethering simply taught him Larry was in control and stopped the barking.

[bcraig]

We certainly had the same problem with Ella. She had a noticeable preference for women from the first day we got her. I am male and I did most of the walking and the feeding, including hand-feeding her for many weeks (which I highly recommend). We almost re-homed Ella because it was kind of tearing me up and making it diffucult for me to create a close bond with her. Every time I would stand up or make any sudden move she would react, even if she was across the room. I could barely get her to take treats from me. I was walking on egg shells for months.

It has been 2 years and Ella still has a definite preference for women. However, I can say that our bond is extremely close and, if anything, I tend to be the person she obeys the most and that she looks to when she is confused or scared. Our first Basenji friend said she had the same problem with their second Basenji being afraid of the husband. It took a while to overcome.

In our case it took nearly 6 months before I felt accepted by her. In retrospect, it was mostly painful because I didn't know if it would ever work itself out. All I can say is that Basenji's are smart and eventually Rusty will figure out that your husband can be trusted. And once you have a Basenji's trust, you will have it for life.

[Patty M]

BCraig, what a heartwarming post!

Thank you for being so open and honest about your Ella! It sounds like she's found her forever forever home.