Help - My Basenji hates my boyfriend!

[CRHenn2]

No, Griffin is not a rescue. That is one reason his attitude in general has been so frustrating to me. I have had him since he was 9 weeks old. Again, I have had problems with both of my dogs because I probably didn't know enough about dogs in general to get a basenji in the first place, but what is done is done. Phoenix has really mellowed and blossomed through alot of the additional training we have done (and it turn really likes Matthew). I do think Griffin has improved in certain areas, but not with Matthew.

[lvoss]

I am sorry, for some reason I thought you had mentioned posting to a rescue list, I must have gotten threads mixed up in my head. Each dog is an individual and can all throw us a curve ball even when we are experienced.

Griffin's behaviors sound alot like my mom's second basenji Levi. My mom got Levi when he was 10 weeks old, he was from breeder but that year was bit different then other years for that breeder. She had two planned litters when she found out one of her girls had managed to get herself bred all on her own so she ended up with three litters totaling something like 15 puppies. On top of that challenge, one of the members of the household started having some health issues so the amount of individual attention each puppy got was not nearly what they normally would have gotten. The result is that my mom's dog is not comfortable around all people and is uncomfortable when there are groups of people around. The good thing about him is that he did come well crate trained and will happily "go to crate" when told to if he is getting overwhelmed. Levi does well with people who know dogs well and pick up on his subtle signals that he is uncomfortable but alot of people will miss a "freeze" so he escalates to a growl. My mom has worked with him alot using the method I talked about and he has come a long way and does pretty well with a small number of people visiting. When there are lots of people he still becomes overwhelmed but now all my parents have to do is tell him "go to bed" and he will go to their bedroom and knows he is in a "safe zone" there and no one will bother him.

[tanza]

Well put lvoss…. My OJ was like that too, there were just people that he just didn't feel comfortable around and usually these were "non" doggy people. He too was very happy to go to his crate and just be left alone. Also, it would take him loads of time to become comfortable with people that he was unsure of or that could not read his body language. I would say that in the case of Matthew that maybe for the time being, as already suggested, he just leave Griffin alone and especially not toss him in the garage or lock him in his crate. I also agree that it is most likely very stressful for him to be taken over to Matthew's home and it might be better to just leave him home.

[mauigirl]

Pat, how interesting that you say OJ was uncomfortable around non-doggy people. I was at Carrie's last night and I brought my dogs. It was Carrie and I and two "non-doggy" friends.
Now our four basenjis have not seen each other for a little while. We did not do a re-introduction on neutral ground like we should have. But they acted so strangely for about 3/4 of the time I was there. Usually Riley is thrilled to be around Callie and Lola and they play and wrestle. He would barely look at them and if he did, it was the "submit to me" kind of eye contact. The first play bow didn't happen until the non-doggy people left.

It was so weird!!

[CRHenn2]

No, you aren't mixed up. I did say I posted info to a rescue list. I am a BRAT volunteer, but Griffin is not a rescue dog. For now, Griffin is going to stay at my mom's (BlueBell) for a few weeks and have a little vacation from Matthew. In the meantime, we will use your suggestions to decide our best course of action. Matthew realizes that he needs to change some of his actions and give Griffin another chance, but it is hard for him because these are not the kind of dogs that he is used to being around. I will post some updates in a few weeks. Thanks for all of the helpful info.

[AJs Human]

@khanis:

Sorry, but boyfriends come and go… you brought Griffin into your life... not to be thrown away because some guy comes along. NO man is deserving of tossing aside a dog to be with him.

I know you want to ignore comments about Matthew.. but he is making things worse with Griffin and it isn't fair to the dog.

Well said, Ms. Khanis. I completely concur. I would think twice about a guy if my rescue boy didn't like him. It would tell me a lot.

AJ's a people dog and can make friends with almost anyone, even non-dog people. The only time I've ever seen him "smile" and rumble at anyone was between two trailers in a dark corner of a truckstop when I got him out for a walk. Some dude followed me between the trailers and AJ communicated that he didn't like the idea. The guy looked at AJ and turned around quick. From then on, I completely trust AJ's judgment.

[Andrew]

I'm on the "boyfriends come and go, but you chose to bring this dog into your life, forever, not just as long as it was convenient" bandwagon. Maybe this is offensive or rude, but I can't see giving either of my girls up for ANYTHING. Callie has the most even temperment, and has never ever met a stranger. Lola can be snobbish about people, and she has to sometimes get to know them on her terms. Once they are friends, they are friends for life, but it is my responsibility to ensure that every person she meets is a good experience. I know she is scared of children, which has to do with her "breeder" not socializing her properly and allowing her to come home with me too early. So I never ever force her to meet children. Instead, when I know we will be somewhere where we will likely run into children, I take treats. Anytime little kids run up to her, I stand in front of Lola, and explain to the children she is scared of them. I instruct them how to politely introduce themselves to Lola, and I give them treats or kibble to let Lola eat out of their hands. Thus, I control Lola's interactions with children so they are always positive experiences, and she comes to associate "big scary monster children" with "yummy food and soft pats on the head". It is a slow process, and I have to respect that some children are too little to understand how to interact with her politely. In those cases, I hold Lola & tell the children she isn't feeling up to company at the moment. Each situation is unique, and there are just some children Lola doesn't feel comfy with, so I don't force the issue too much.
I guess my long winded soapbox is to say, have patience, take baby steps, and do what's best for the being that you committed to caring for.