What's considered baseline?
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wrote on 11 May 2013, 20:46 last edited by
…..but being with someone else for a short period of time is ok, it's just when it's a direct result of me leaving him with that person that presents the problem.
O.K. maybe you have done this already, but there is a psychological difference between you leaving and him leaving. I see it with horses all the time. Taking a horse away from the herd may be O.K., but taking the herd away from the horse…....very much a different thing, even if it "looks" the same.
So don't you walk away from him. Have someone come and take him from you, and walk away (preferably someone he knows, who takes him away to give him something he likes and brings him right back at first). If you haven't done it this way, try it. Might make a difference to how he feels about it. He is leaving, not being left.
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wrote on 11 May 2013, 22:13 last edited by
Very good suggestion, I haven't tried this approach with him..I'm always the one to walk away..I'll start practicing this with him and do this on the 21st as well..
Agile basenji…I remember u saying that before and am picking up cupcakes from a local bakery as a bribe..hahaha..it's a very good idea!!
...and maybe I'll take one home for myself ;) -
wrote on 12 May 2013, 13:37 last edited by
Not working on this is damaging to your dog. VERY damaging. What if you had to suddenly go away? What if you got sick and had to be in the hospital. Your enabling this behavior is really borderline abusive to him because you are causing his great distress for no reason. Please please please take suggestions given and start working hard on fixing this. It might have some reward to say my dog can't manage without me, but it isn't healthy for him. I started to say that I don't mean to be harsh, but I really do mean to be harsh. If a dog has some issues and you are working on it, okay. But when you admit that you "cater" to it and it isn't "Something I'm not actively working on but do need to." it is a really huge issue. Instead of your beloved pet being relaxed and able to socialize, be normal at the vet… you have a dog stressed out and fearful of your every move. To me, enabling and not trying to fix that really is abusive.
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wrote on 12 May 2013, 14:28 last edited by
To each their own opinion Debra, I am working with Oakley on other issues right now and at twenty nine months he is still maturing. I don't live my life by the "what ifs", as of right now I'm able to be with him all the time when I'm not working so yes, I cater to his wanting to be around me, it's not rewarding for me to have a dog that's not independent of me, but it's the reality..and until I'm ready to address it 100% I haven't…he has made significant progress in crating and barrier frustrations...so I'm happy with the progress, and frankly..these other issues needs to be dealt with before addressing this...in order to make me leaving him with others successful. He's a happy, healthy young boy with a complex and stubborn mind, I'm going to work with him and not fight him on evolving and adapting his behaviors. However, your concern is noted and appreciated.
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