@Mowgli:
To answer some questions that have been posed…we put her in an empty bedroom and for now close the door. We would like to try the baby gate, but are unsure if she could somehow knock it down or get over it. Although she has never done this in our presence, it appears she is so terribly distraught when left alone, there's no saying what she's capable of. The destruction as of recently has been biting large pieces of wood off the door and window frames, chewing up the blinds and still pooping and peeing on the floor right after being walked (and relieving herself on the walk). Yes, the meds were prescribed as aids to behavior modification. We had worked with a behaviorist to initially get her acclimated to our home and being left alone. Then, this summer her routine was off-set by the fact that my wife is now home more often and we no longer leave/return at the exact same time each day. Mowgli obviously loves our company, so it is likely that the more my wife is home the harder it is for her to cope when left alone. The destruction definitely worsened during the fourth of July when fireworks were being set off all day long in our neighborhood. Until then loud noises didn't seem to bother her.
In the meantime we take her to doggy daycare just so
we can get errands done before the baby arrives and only leave her alone when absolutely necessary. It is expensive though and certainly not a longterm solution. Thanks so much for
all the suggestions. Please keep them coming. This is taking a toll on ALL of us.
I tell people that Basenjis are claustrophobic and do not like being in a closed room. Add to the fact that someone is home and they are being BANISHED away from them… sorry, but if I were the dog, I would think the people doing that to me were flat out rude.
I see you are doing other things, but I do not see much training towards acclimation of the dog crate. THAT is what needs to be done.
She can't be trained to be in it if she isn't given ample opportunity to learn it IS a good place and good things DO happen there... FOOD.
All of my Basenjis leave my house crate-trained, but when they have any type of issues, it is the owner finds it easier to leave the dog loose... that ends up with major anxiety issues with their Basenji.
I cannot stress enough how important the crate is to a dog and to the entire family. And your friends and neighbors. What will happen when this dog MUST be left with someone in an emergency and it can't be crated?
BTW, I had two Basenjis returned in the month of June, both due to severe family situations.
Dog A. Slept and fed in a crate for it's 18 months and fabulous in the house. Still crate-trained and runs to it when the food bin is rattled. Saving grace for this girl, as I can't have 6 dogs and someone NOT crate-rained.
Dog B. Left at 3 months of age.. returned at 27 months. Never in a crate and feed loose. Overweight. Sweet and good in the house. Would have to throw him in the crate as he would force his legs apart so I could not get him in the crate. One month later, he runs in the crate and waits for his meals.
This dog was an obnoxious mess when he was returned... hated hated hated the crate. Now, he rarely makes a peep when crated.
REASON Dog B adapted to the use of a crate? I was persistent and gave him a reason to WANT to be in there. This dog loved to eat [too much] and while he is not 3# thinner, he IS crate-trained.
Continue to reward any approach to the crate. Then wait to click until he gets just a bit closer. Repeat a couple of times, then wait a little for a closer approach. Pretty soon he is right at the entrance, then you want a foot or two inside, finally the whole dog before you click. It takes a bit of experience to get it right, but you really can't screw it up much. If he shuts down on you, say "too bad" and walk away with your treats. Come back and try later. In my case, he kept working and we got the job done in one try. 
