Reintroducing my B to a dog he has gotten aggressive with

[Kongo22]

Kongo is 11 months old. He LOVES to play with the other dogs in our neighborhood. He sometimes shows a little aggression at first but after a few seconds he backs down and most of the time lets the other dog be the alpha by laying down on his back in front of them. We have a neighbor with a 3 year old dog. Her name is Mia. She is a mix of some type most likely in the hound family but she is about 3 times the size of Kongo. The first time they played they got along great. The second time he went up to steal a toy from her in her house and she jumped on top of him and got snappy. Last night they met again and this time she wanted to play and Kongo kept barking (yea, they aren't supposed to do that right?) and attacking her whenever she came near.
I really want them to become friends because having the dogs all play together has been one of the best things ever. I want to reintroduce them and see if they can work it out but I want to make sure I do everything I can to make it a positive experience. I know it should be just the two of them and not with the other 5 dogs around. I know to try and get him to let her sniff him. I tried to have him sit facing me and allow her to sniff him but he kept turning around and lunging at her.
I'll take any ideas.
Thank you as always!

[curlytails]

Why does Mia have to sniff Kongo? I know that just makes my dogs tense if they don't want to be sniffed by THAT particular dog at the moment. When they feel like getting sniffed, it's best to keep it short and casual anyway, not restraining any one dog in a particular place to force the sniffing.

Can they go on a walk or hang out outside of the house before going back indoors to anyone's home? That might take some of the edge off the introductions, and let them get accustomed to each other's presence and scent from a controlled distance. Meanwhile, since items seem to be an issue, I would put all toys away until they are behaving, or interacting positively with each other, then perhaps slowly introduce some toys over time. It may just be that their play styles don't match up though. Maybe Kongo likes to play keep-away and chase-me-with-the-toy, and Mia does not want her toys messed with?

[Kongo22]

Thank you. I will try the walk idea. Last night they were outside when they met but the other dogs were there. A walk by themselves may be good.
I got the sniffing idea from watching the dog whisperer. It was a show on introducing dogs and they showed the one dog sitting and allowing the other dog to sniff them first. I just figured I'd try it but it didn't work.

[eeeefarm]

Kongo probably feels he needs to protect himself, since from his point of view Mia attacked him. Of course, her side of things is that he was messing with her toys. Of course she was defensive of her property! I think it is always wise to remove anything that could become a "bone of contention" when dogs play together, at least until you are sure it won't lead to possession problems.

[DebraDownSouth]

The idea of dogs needing dog playmates is a human one, not necessarily dog needs for those who don't live together. The idea that a dog has to be friends with a particular dog is a dangerous human idea. If they have been aggressive, move on, find a dog that your dog is totally kewl with. One bad response, you risk ruining your dog around others for a long time, maybe forever. Please, find a new playmate.

[Shaye's Mom]

@DebraDownSouth:

The idea of dogs needing dog playmates is a human one, not necessarily dog needs for those who don't live together. The idea that a dog has to be friends with a particular dog is a dangerous human idea. If they have been aggressive, move on, find a dog that your dog is totally kewl with. One bad response, you risk ruining your dog around others for a long time, maybe forever. Please, find a new playmate.

I agree, there are lots of dogs in dog parks and if yours doesn't like one, keeping them separate avoids trouble. Just like with us there are people who just rub us the wrong way, there are dogs who just do not like each other.

[Kongo22]

I just wanted to follow up here. Kongo and Mia met again last night. Kongo and I went over to Mia's house. I know this is against some of the advice here but I really felt strongly that this could be overcome. First we let Kongo in the house without Mia and he sniffed all around. Then we had Mia down on the ground on her back getting belly rubs and Kongo was able to come over and meet her with her in the vulnerable spot. They took about 10 minutes of wandering the house together but with distance before they started to warm up. By the end of the night they were hunting together outside and sitting right next to each other on the porch.
We are going to walk them together this coming week so that they have fun outside together but not play fighting.
Things are looking much better.

[Lmaris]

So the fact that dogs are pack animals is a human invention? Has to be one of the silliest comments I have heard. Sure, not every dog s going to get along with every other dog, but lets not pretend dogs wanting dog buddies is a human construct. If anything, dogs NOT having dog buddies is the human invention.

[DebraDownSouth]

Oh gosh Lmaris, you need to reread. No one said dogs as PACK animals is a human invention.

Dogs being friends with NONPACK (ie dogs they don't live with), ie playmates in parks etc, is a human invention.

You might want to read up on packs, on what happens in the wild when members don't get along, and why even in a human household, the pack is artificially created and often results in having to separate packs.

Dogs wanting buddies, normal. Dogs having YOU choose them, not. I hope you can comprehend the difference.

[clokatys]

My Basenji Kobi gets along with all dogs she has met except one particular one in our sub. For some reason they
just dont like each other, and he is just as growly with her as she is with him. Now I took her to my brothers house and
she met his dog for the first time, a huge boxer pitbull mix. And they were a little snarky with each other at first,
but the minute they got off the leash and were running around the yard they had a blast. But in the house his
dog was very domineering and they got into it a little. But we watched them and they seemed to work it out. His
dog was definitely the dominant one in the house, but my little girl ran circles around her outside. She was definitely
the leader outside. His poor girl could not keep up with her. lol.