Fear of husband-help!
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wrote on 15 Nov 2010, 17:54 last edited by
I think the holiday is so soon that I'd probably let him stay upstairs, maybe with a tv or radio to further buffer him. You're right – you don't want him to be scared the whole time.
He sounds like a sweet boy who needs a little time to get his feet under him.
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wrote on 15 Nov 2010, 18:41 last edited by
I agree, for the holiday keep him crated in a different room otherwise the chances of him getting overwhelmed by all the people an activity is for sure going to happen.
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wrote on 15 Nov 2010, 22:34 last edited by
I adopted a Basenji (Bernie) who had lived for 3 years with his female breeder, he wasn't actually terrifed but just didn't like men. (Then there were 5 males in my family). He eventually accepted my sons but it took a whole year for him to accept my husband. One day my husband was sitting on the sofa and Bernie clambered on his lap, from then on all was well, so 7 weeks is really quite a short time for him to change. Be patient and get your husband to hand feed him for a while. This should make a big difference but as the others say don't let him get overwhelmed by too many men at a time.
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wrote on 16 Nov 2010, 00:52 last edited by
another idea, btw, might be to try leashing him and have your husband just lead him around in a few days after he is more settled.
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wrote on 16 Nov 2010, 11:47 last edited by
The tethering him to the husband may also backfire. He is essentially being forced to confront the thing he fears most. IMO the better thing is to show him that your husband is a good thing. I agree with having your husband be the one to take care of him. Once he bonds a little bit, then I would tether him later after he gains a bit of trust. But this is My Opinion only.
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wrote on 16 Nov 2010, 12:34 last edited by
My husband does walk him and he is so so with him. BUT yesterday my husband came home, walked in ignored rusty sat down in the recliner. Our female, Chloe, walked up to him to get petted and then so did Rusty!! It only lasted for about 2 min but then he went back to being scared. So I think we are making progress! I was shocked when i saw that.
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wrote on 16 Nov 2010, 12:55 last edited by
Yes, you are, and so is Rusty! If only we could peek into his brain to understand what happened in his first year of life to make him leary…. time, love and tenderness (wait, is that a Michael Bolton song?:)).
He sure is a beautiful dog, and with his big "sister" there to teach him the ropes, he will quickly learn that he's there for the long-haul... I bet that within a month, you will be amazed at his transformation. Hearts and hugs to your family!
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wrote on 16 Nov 2010, 17:33 last edited by
Arlene, that's why I said after he is more settled. Certainly tethering when afraid not good. But once they are okay, it makes the getting up and moving around part of his activity also and should stop the barking if it continues.
We had a rescue here that barked every time my husband moved. Fine with him, took food, sat, let him groom… but let Larry move and he barked. Tethering simply taught him Larry was in control and stopped the barking.
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wrote on 17 Nov 2010, 16:10 last edited by
We certainly had the same problem with Ella. She had a noticeable preference for women from the first day we got her. I am male and I did most of the walking and the feeding, including hand-feeding her for many weeks (which I highly recommend). We almost re-homed Ella because it was kind of tearing me up and making it diffucult for me to create a close bond with her. Every time I would stand up or make any sudden move she would react, even if she was across the room. I could barely get her to take treats from me. I was walking on egg shells for months.
It has been 2 years and Ella still has a definite preference for women. However, I can say that our bond is extremely close and, if anything, I tend to be the person she obeys the most and that she looks to when she is confused or scared. Our first Basenji friend said she had the same problem with their second Basenji being afraid of the husband. It took a while to overcome.
In our case it took nearly 6 months before I felt accepted by her. In retrospect, it was mostly painful because I didn't know if it would ever work itself out. All I can say is that Basenji's are smart and eventually Rusty will figure out that your husband can be trusted. And once you have a Basenji's trust, you will have it for life.
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wrote on 18 Nov 2010, 04:24 last edited by
BCraig, what a heartwarming post!
Thank you for being so open and honest about your Ella! It sounds like she's found her forever forever home. :)
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