Hello folks, Voodoo here, atleast I think that's my name, anyway, it's either 'Voodoo' or 'No No Bad Dog'. Used to be called 'That's A Good Puppy', but think my owner doesn't like the sound of that that much, cause he uses 'No No Bad Dog' way more. But I don't care that much, as long as I have a name, I'm fine.:)
So, where was I? Ah right, my owner is preparing my food (why does that allways have to take so long?) so I have the couch all for myself and with that also the laptop, so why not tell you all about my day…
Actually, it started yesterday. Was watching a TV show called Dogs 101, and believe it or not, at a certain moment it was like the TV-screen was changed by a mirror. I saw myself!! Moving, on the screen!! After blinking my eyes a few times, I began to understood that it was not me who I was seeing, but some other dogs who looked just like me! Imagine that. You're being a lazy-ass-couch-potato, looking at some silly box with flashing images and there you see some creatures just like yourself... So I was all attention suddenly! There were some people telling that dogs like me, and especially me (didn't told that, guess not to upset the other dogs who were watching, but he was looking straight at me, so that leaves little doubt who he was reffering to;)) are superintelligent!!! Nothing new for me offcourse, but I figured, if those (stupid) humans are smart enough to see that, maybe they are also smart enough to know some other things. So, they got my full attention, and at once, they tell me that I am a hunting dog. And not just any hunting dog, no no, one used for hunting lions!
So I started thinking. If they are right about us (and espacially me offcourse) being supersmart, they have to be right about the lion hunting also. And it makes perfectly sense. What kind of dog could they use else? A poodle, to trick a lion into thinking it is a cheep? A pitbull, who are nothing more then *****'s in boots. A chihuahua? Well maybe the chihuahua, I can imagine a whole pack of chihuahua's can annoye a lion to death...
No, it's all clear to me, only a tough, fierce and supersmart breed like a Basenji (I am one of those, learned that also on that show!!!:)) is a match for a lion. No other breed can come even close to us on that.
So, I found my goal in live. Hunt lions! Become the most fierce and respected lionhunter of this whole house!
My half-birthday is comming up, so I asked my owner if I could have a lion of my own then as a present. You know, so I could practice hunting it at home, before heading off to the wide world to hunt some more...
But he started laughing at me!!! Laughing at me!! Right in my, oh so cute and adorable, face!! Told me I allready had a little lion, that I couldn't even handle and pointed to my superior, 'Miss Come Close And I Hit You Right On Your Nose'. He doesn't know, but I just act as if I let myself boss around by that kitty. Offcourse I can handle her. I'm just trying different tactics to sneek up to her, grap her tail... He didn't believe me... But, he agreed to take me to a place to see a lion, and if I still would want one, I could have one!!! So, I was all happy and went to sleep, dreaming about my new lion I would get the next morning, hunting it down, and eating BBQ'd lion-steak, lion-ribs and lion-sausages in the evening.
Woke up this morning and could allmost taste the lion-burgers in my mouth. So all happy, ready for the big hunt, we went out. Much to my suprise, it seemed like we were not going to find lions in the streets here, not even in the woods... So we had to take a large moving thing to get to the lions. But those large moving things are scarry! The make a lot of noisy, they stop before you and a really big mouth opens before you, and you have to jump inside it! Right into the stomach of that strange thing. Offcourse, supersmart as I am, I wasn't planning on letting that thing eat me alive! Only after I'd seen my owner jump into it without anything happening to him, and seeing him get out some tasty treats, I found it safe to, very carefully, get in myself. And I must admit, it wasn't that bad. The entire stomach was filled with couches!!! I'm sure you can immagine my dissapointment when I found out that I wasn't allowed to jump on them. And my disbelief when I discovered that I had to lie down on the floor... The floor!!! Cold floor!! Without even a blanket under me... And so much coughes surrounding me... You sure must understand by now that I wasn't a very happy doggy that moment... And with reason, don't you think?
When that strange moving beast opened his mouth again, we jumped out again and I saw a large sign "Olmense ZOO". So there we went, through the gates and off to some more adventures and to find the lion we were going to hunt down to have some BBQ meat! There was also someone waiting for us. With a doggy about my age, later I heard it was a Patterdale mix. Well, maybe not that bad I figured. It made no problem of my authority, looked pretty strong so maybe it could help us out in the hunt. Was dumb as hell ofcourse (compaired to me, as I'm supersmart!, that is) but some brute force might come in handy. Especially if there would be a whole herd of lions. Was figguring I could take 4 or maybe 5 myself with ease, but if there would happen to be 6, he could as well take one also. I'm not that greedy.
So off we go, past the zebra's, parrots, bears, wolves and whatever else there was. Didn't trusted most of those creatures. Some where downright scary, some funny (ever seen a porcupine or a giraffe, who comes up with a design like that? :D), some just strange, some intresting, some I didn't cared about at all... But we didn't came for all those things! We came to find and hunt down lions!!!
And finally... there they where. Two BIG :eek:, I mean BIG :eek:, actually not just BIG, but BIG BIG !!!:eek: Massive , collosal, immense... :eek: I mean, that are no kitty's... that are monsters!!! Just look at their eye's, I could tell for sure that they wanted to eat me!!!:eek: And look at those teeth... Those teeth are bigger then my whole head!!!:eek: And the paws they have... They could play pingpong with me... just hitting me and letting me fly from one lion to another!!!:eek: And then I didn't even mentioned the claws on those paws... The would scalp me with one single hit and one single nail!!! :eek:
So was I happy that I am suppersmart... and that I had intellect to hide behind my owner instead of running to them and hunting them down... I might be fierce, strong... but I'm not suicidal!!!
So, by this, I disclaim my heritage of being a lion hunter!
And I will do so, untill they decide to rewrite history and change that Dogs 101 show so that we, Basenji's, are not longer lion hunters, but instead squirrel hunters!!!