Oh how they can be misconstrued.
This morning I became "chief mediator" between my husband (in a manual wheelchair) and one of his care workers. She had not been feeling well (stomach problems), so my husband offered her a Tums or Gaviscon. She is a little suspicious of any prescriptions or over the counter medications, so she refused. In his frustration (because she has been complaining about her stomach for quite some time) he said to her "well, then don't complain, you need to see your doctor". He did not say this is a bad tone, but her ears definitely heard it differently.
I wasn't sure what was going on this morning, but I can really pick up on things easily, and you could cut the air in our house with a knife. I asked Darrel what was going on with his worker, and he said he didn't know. But I knew something was up.
So I called all 3 of us to the kitchen table for a little meeting. I mentioned that I thought she was upset about something. Well, the floodgates opened. She started to cry and said she thought Darrel was angry with her. He said he was concerned about her. In the end we all decided that sometimes we don't communicate well and sometimes we don't really hear what is being said.
It's so easy to be misconstrued. But what I CAN say is this group here functions incredibly well, especially since we cannot see anyone's face. What bonds us is the common love of the basenji - that should and seems to always prevail.
Hugs to everyone.