The first thing I need to say is make sure that the parents of the litter you are considering has been DNA tested for Fanconi. Verify for yourself using the OFA website at http://www.offa.org that the parents are in the database and that at least 1 of the parents has tested Probably Clear.
Have you visited with basenjis? I really recommend doing so before deciding whether or not the breed is for you. I do breed education and invite people to come meet my dogs when they are thinking about adding a basenji. Meeting them in person really helps you to get an idea about some of the characteristics that just don't translate into words.
As for male or female, each puppy is an individual some will be more likely to push boundaries than others and IME this isn't determined by sex. A good breeder will match the puppy to home. They will talk with you about what your expectations are, what your household is like, what your experience with a dog is, and what your preferences are, and use those criteria to match you with a puppy.
Basenjis need positive reinforcement training, like clicker training. They need to go to a good puppy kindergarten class that emphasize socialization with both humans and dogs and reinforce good behavior. I am also in Northern California and may know some good positive reinforcement trainers in your area depending on where you are located.