It's probably easier to confront a family member than a neighbor, but there was a time when a relative was sitting on my deck eating ice cream. Magnum was sitting politely in front of her, not begging, but, obviously, interested in the ice cream. She said, "If that dog jumps on me, I'll…" Interrupting her, I said, "You'll what!? Get off my deck?" She meekly responded, "Uh-huh," to which I responded, "I thought so."
Now, Magnum is very polite and even though he probably wanted that ice cream with all his heart, he never would have jumped up on her for it (and he didn't…just looked at her forlornly as she finished her treat). If he had, he, of course, would have been reprimanded and removed from the area, but it still irked me that somebody (other than me) was ready to "teach him a lesson." Especially since I had held my tongue numerous times when her kids were misbehaving.
Anyways, I know how you feel.